So. Ask me something. Anything. Seriously- anything.
I’ll answer it, truthfully and completely. No secrets here.
Ask as many questions as you want.
Ask for more information about a previously answered question.
Ask ‘why are you such a bitch?’ or ‘what do you think about back hair?’
An-Ee-Thing.
Do it in a comment here or use the contact form that’s linked in the navigation bar up top. Whichever is cool. You can always come back and ask something new if you’d like, or read the latest by clicking ‘Q & A’ up there too.
Latest questions answered on 03.01.08.
What is your biggest regret in life, romantic relationship wise? I don’t believe in regrets. Seriously. I very rarely apologize for anything or look back on the past worrying about what shoulda coulda woulda happened. But, I do wish I hadn’t broken the heart of the man that I did to be with J. Or at least that I knew where he was now. He was a Marine and it was just before the troops started getting deployed to Iraq when the war started. He loved me desperately. I chose to be with J. because he had more um..financial potential than Mike did. [READ: I did not marry for money. I just started dating him for money, that's all.]
When was the last time you had mind blowing sex? Umm..never? I honestly don’t see the big deal over sex. I’m no prude and I’ve laid a fair share of men but I’ve never had ‘mind blowing sex’. Maybe I was fucking the wrong guys. *shrugs* You know, this causes me to want to do every guy that brags about being amazing in bed. I’m like hmm…maybe this one can show me what everyone’s always talking about. Not anymore, of course, but I used to.
Where do you see yourself five years from now? What do you hope you’ll be doing, and where do you want to be financially? I want to be happy. I want to be doing something that I find totally fulfilling. I want to be rich as hell.
What is cheating? Have you ever cheated? Looking back, why did you do it? Cheating is going elsewhere for something that you should only be getting from your significant other. Yes I have cheated. Physically on a past boyfriend in a long distance relationship, and physically again on Mike the Marine with J. I cheated on the first because I was tired of him, I just forgot to tell him. I cheated on Mike because I didn’t have the heart to tell him it was over yet. Emotionally, I cheat on J. off and on. There is someone else out there that…makes me wonder, and he holds a piece of my heart. He has for the past year or so.
What is your favorite color? Black. Or white. Wait – one of those is the absence of color and I can’t remember which. I think it’s black. I’ll say blue.
If you could be the opposite sex for one day, what would your day be like? *lol* I’d be banging every broad with a nice rack that I saw. And I’d have someone kick me in the balls to see how bad it really hurts.
What is your favorite thing about being a mother? Also, your least favorite? My favorite is probably realizing how it feels to have someone completely and utterly trust you. To have someone that never second guesses or questions your judgment because they have no reason to. That’s almost impossible with friends and family, but it’s just innate with your kids. For a little while at least.
My least favorite is the loss of independence. I’ll admit that some days I just want to run away. I know it’s not just me, but sometimes I feel it is because no one will admit it, lest someone think they’re a bad mother. I get worn out. I get annoyed. I become overwhelmed. When I want to run to the store but I don’t because I have to bundle up kids and strap in car seats, or I want to make an appointment but it has to be scheduled around nap time – some of those times I wish it was just me. Never for long though.
If you had to have a tail of any animal, which animals’ tail would you pick? A horse’s. It’d be all shiny and smooth and silky. I’d brush it all day long.
If you could leave on your dream vacation tomorrow, where would you go? Why? And who would you take with you? I would go to Europe, all over Europe, Italy, Spain, France, England, Ireland. Everywhere. I’ve never been outside of the continental US and I’m dying to experience firsthand the great differences between countries. I would take no one so that I could stay at The Lourve as long as I wanted, and buy what I wanted in Harrod’s without qualms, and fall asleep on the floor of the Sistene Chapel.
What’s the best way to get into your pants? Be Jonathan Rhys-Meyers and look at me.
If you had the option to change your full name to anything besides your current one, what would it be and why? Maria Gyllenhaal. Only because I think it sounds nice. Wha’? That is why! I mean, if Jake happened to come along with it, that’d be okay, but I just like the name. *blinks*
Have you actually ever met a man that DIDN’T claim that he was amazing in bed? You know what? I haven’t! I’ve met some that just didn’t claim anything at all, but I’ve never met one who just came out and said ‘Hey -I’m a shitty lay.’
Do you believe in life after death? Hmmm. I don’t *think* I do. I don’t put very much thought into it. If there is, I hope it’s whatever each person individually envisioned as their own kind of heaven.
You’re stuck on a deserted island, with no rescue in sight.
1) one other person made their way to the island with you. Who’s that person (can be real or imaginary)? Do you have to ask? A glistening, 5 o’clock shadowed, bronzed and sex starved Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, of course!
2) your cd player withstood the sand and still works. What CD is in it? Is it cheating if I say my favorite mix CD, with everything from Frank Sinatra to Disturbed, Andrea Bocelli to Jay-Z, and Earth, Wind, & Fire to John Legend? Because if it is, I’d choose A Rush of Blood to the Head by Coldplay.
3) you also managed to save 1 DVD/movie, what is it? 300. Hands down.
What’s your favorite cuss word? Fuck.
What’s your favorite cuss phrase? Fuckin’ goddamnitt.
Do you yell at stupid drivers? Yes. If so, what? ‘What the fuck is your problem you stupid idiot? Learn how to fucking drive!’ while flailing my arms like a mad woman and making sure they see every middle finger that I’ve got. Unless they’re old. Then I just mutter ‘Move, ya old bastard.’
Are you bisexual? In my head, sometimes. But I can’t even picture going down on a woman without gagging so, no. Have you ever been with a girl? No. Not even a kiss on a dare, or anything else nutty like that.
How did you get involved in the exotic dancing? I left home pretty early and moved in with a friend who was doing it. Seriously, what was that like? It’s hard to explain. I liked it. *shrugs* It was fun sometimes, it was scary once or twice, it was empowering, it was good money. What were the other women like? Some of them were coked-up whores, some of them were single mothers trying to make end’s meet. Some were just doing it to be doing it and some would do anything for a dollar. What would you do if your daughter wanted that as a career? As a career, I’d discourage it, and I’d be disappointed in her choice. As a job – the same response, but with a lot less urgency. I wouldn’t do anything other than tell her what I honestly thought and felt.
If you could live in another era, decade, time, when would it be? This is a good/hard one. If I was a white male and didn’t have to worry about racism or persecution, I’d choose to live in Elizabethan times, as a rich member of the court. And hope I didn’t get accused of a crime because those Brit’s believed in some fucked up forms of torture!
What’s your favorite word? To choose a real one [Jenee!] I would go with ‘yes’. I like that word.
What sound or noise do you love? I love that noise that little children make when they are nursing. That little sigh of contentment they let out when they’re between suckles.
What sound or noise do you hate? Anything related to eating. Slurping, smacking, etc.
What turns you on? A kiss on the nape of my neck.
What turns you off? Bad teeth.
Momo Fali asks: Okay, why am I such a bitch? Because you haven’t yet admitted your intense love for me and it eats you alive every, single, day.
How often, if ever, do you masturbate? Every week, just about. Is that too much? J. works all the time…
You say you don’t like people much, and don’t care about friends. But you seem so outgoing via this form of communication (blogging) why is that? People get on my nerves. They say things, and make faces and weird noises and have unrealistic expectations or easily hurt feelings. And it’s not that I don’t care about friends – it’s just I don’t really go out of my way to make them. And I spent a long period of my life just wanting to fit in, and be liked, and saying and doing whatever I had to in order to be accepted. Not anymore. If I can’t be myself and have friends, then I’d rather not have any. But – I am outgoing, in general. Blogging is liberating for me. It’s open and out there, but it still offers an air of anonymity that I makes it easier for me to expose things. Plus, if I don’t like what someone says or does, I can hit the little red ‘x’ in the corner of my browser. Internet interaction is awesome.
- In “My Inauguration” you stated that when you went out on your own at 17 you were self sufficient by means legal but unmentionable according to your grandmother. What were those unmentionable means? Stripping.
1. If you were to have dinner with any famous person (dead ot alive) who would it be and why? Steven Spielberg. I think he’s a genius and I have a million questions to ask him.
2. If you have a million bucks to donate to one charity, what would it be any why? Carolina Boxer Rescue. They work hard, and could do so much more for so many Boxers if they had the funds.
3. Describe an ideal fantasy weekend with your husband minus the kiddos. We’d go to Vegas, stay at the Mirage and see LOVE: Cirque du Soleil because the girls are too young right now to go. We’d renew our vows and eat cheap buffet food.
How do you know when you’re on the right track? What do you do if you aren’t? I’m not. So I don’t know. *lol*
You’re a little wrapped about that Jake aren’t you? Gyllenhaal? Naaahhh. Jonathan Rhys Meyers has my heart.
What’s the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you? Probably what happened to make me despise snow. I slipped on a patch of frozen snow in the middle of the street in front of my crush and landed spread eagle on my back. Everyone laughed. My crush leaned over me, basketball in hand, and asked “You aiight?” but didn’t even wait for an answer or try to help me up. I laid there for the rest of the day. No, not really.
You really don’t remember JNCOs? No. I know, I know: I’m a loser. :p
What is the BEST piece of advice you have ever received? I don’t think I’ve ever gotten any that I though was worthy of paying attention to. I like to fly by the seat of my pants.
What is our own personal motto/code that you live by? “Don’t be like your mother.” That’s a long story.
Would you rather be skinny or rich?? That’s hard! Superficial, but hard nonetheless. One on hand I’d like to say skinny because how can you enjoy all the things money has to offer like high waisted jeans and corseted Dior dresses if you’re fat but on the other hand I could just pay for a personal trainer, some lipo-sculpting and maybe rib removal. Like Janet Jackson. I think money.
Deb asks: Who do you think is more anal-retentive? You or me? Ha! That’s YOU!!
What does catechizer mean? A catechizer is someone who specializes in catechizing, or is trained in the meticulous art of catechization. Basically someone who gives extremely detailed [usually religious] instructions and teaches people to understand different things [usually doctrines]. I am the catechizer of my own life. I am my own unholy mother, after all.
What has been the best moment of your life thus far? What has been the worst? I can’t really answer that. There have been some pretty good ones, and pretty bad ones. Sorry for the shitty response. :(
You said that you were bisexual in your head sometimes…Can you name five (or more) female celebs that gave you this feeling? You’re such a dude. *lol* Angelina Jolie of course. Kathryn Moening [Shane from The L Word], and I think that’s it.
You mentioned you havent really had “mindblowing sex”. Has anyone ever said YOU were their best or complimented you on your “skills”? Yes, and yes.
Speaking of performance, how were your grades in high school? I averaged a 4.2 until my junior year when I dropped out. Just before I did, my grades started to plummet for various reasons. When I went back, I averaged a 3.8.
If time and money were no concern, what would you do for a living? I’d travel the world, lecturing against Breed Specific Legislation.
Is there any amount of money that would make killing somebody worth it? You’re talking to someone who dreams of being O-Ren Ishii. Or Beatrix Kiddo. Nah, I’m kidding, I don’t think any amount of money makes it okay. Justifiable homicide is the only killing I condone.
Favorite internet slang? I type action quite a bit. *blinks*
Have you ever pissed yourself as an adult? Thankfully, no!
What is the WORST album you’ve ever heard or purchased? Futuresex/Lovesounds – Justin Timberlake. I’m sorry, but it was awful. And I love me some Justin. I adored JusTified.
If you were offered the job of the US presidency, no strings attached, would you take it? Hell to the no.
Are the best things in life free? Yes. Definitely. Have a kid and feel tiny little toddler arms wrapped around your neck in a sweet baby hug and you’ll agree.
How would you describe your voice? RuPaulish.
To be continued…hopefully…
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