BusyDad: FuckShitStupid
“Jim is a really great guy. You know how you meet some people and you can automatically tell that they are genuinely good folk - from the very beginning? He’s like that. I’m happy to give him a space to let out all the profanity that he can’t on his own blog. All he had to do for me in return was agree to get his really, really, super hot fireman friend drunk when I come visit so that I’m able to take advantage of him. Good deal, I’d say.”
If you already know me, how the hell are ya!? For those of you who have never heard of me, don’t worry, this daddy is a made man within the inner circles of the Mommy Blogging Mafia. Blogher 08. Shots. That’s all I’m authorized to divulge about the initiation ceremony.
It feels really good to chill for a minute and do a guest post on Maria’s blog, because Maria is a what’s happenin hotstuff and I can write words like fuck and shit and stupid (That’s a no-no word. Proof I’m a dad). I try to keep the language fairly clean on my blog because Fury (my kid’s real-life nickname) loves to read about himself, and he knows the bad words. But here? Gloves come off, fuckers.
Posts I Would Have Re-Named If I Cursed on My Blog
(Because I am not a link whore, I did not hyperlink these. Traffic to my blog is not the point here. I’m just having fun with swear words. But if you are actually interested, you can find quick links to all of these on my blog post where I send everyone here.)
- Knocking Out My Demons –
Watch Me Almost Get Knocked the Fuck Out
- (Toy) Breaking News –
Bitch Ass Dogs Chewed the Collector’s Edition Action Figures I Got From the Star Wars Convention
- Homies On A Train –
Scared Shitless
- Darwin Would Be Proud –
That Darwin Was One Smart Motherfucker
- Giving it the Old Jamaican Bobsled Try… –
Who the Fuck Nominated Me? You Fuckin’ Rule
- In Other News Vol. 1-4 –
Giving Away Shit So You’ll Like Me, Vol. 1-4
- If Fury Wants To Hang Out, Dial 9-1-1 –
You Bitches Just Like Me For My Hot Fireman Friend
- Always Late –
Hanging with Hawt Bitches at BlogHo 08
- I Must Really Like You Guys –
I Can Cook Really Good Shit
- Rollin’ on tha Eastside… The Far Eastside –
I Spent Too Much Fucking Time Editing This Video. You Better Watch It And Comment the Shit Out of It. Yeah, This Title is Long. Fuck You.
- Do Parent Bloggers Exploit Their Children For Personal Gain? Yoouuu Betcha! –
I Met Amy Adams and Pussied Out Like a Punk Bitch
- Yo Mama Reads Alltop! –
Fuck Yeah! Guy Kawasaki Likes Me
- ARRRRRGH! –
FUUUUUCK!
- 10 Hours –
Get Me a Fucking Drink
- Not Your Father’s “Dad” –
So This Post Sucks Ass. It’s My First One. Fuck You Very Much.
And here are some posts I would have written if I cursed on my blog:
“To All You Shitwads Who Think Dads Can’t Parent, Fuck You”
“To All You Shitwads Who Serve As Examples of Why Dads Can’t Parent, Fuck You Even More”
“Shit, my 15th College Reunion is Coming Up, and The Only Update I Could Send For the Alum Book Was I Have a Dad Blog. Fucking Harvard Grad FAIL.”
“The Internet is Fucking Me Up. Why Can’t I Leave a Reservation Under BusyDad?”
“Fuckin A. I Love Being a Dad.”
“Maria Rocks”
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September 26th, 2008 at 12:47 am
That was awesome! So awesome in fact that now I have to figure out what to do with a screaming two year old who was woken up by her mommy’s hysterical laughter! But it was worth it…so very very worth it.
Now she wants to know what was so funny.
September 26th, 2008 at 12:51 am
You fucking rawk … I wouldn’t say that on my blog either, but I’d think it. Next year at BlogHer, you, me, and a couple frosty Newcastles. Deal?
September 26th, 2008 at 12:57 am
Hanging with Hawt Bitches at BlogHo 08
my personal favorite
The latest from flutter…I don’t even know where this is going
September 26th, 2008 at 12:59 am
fuck yes!!
The latest from .Ophelia Mourne….Impromptu House Party
September 26th, 2008 at 1:05 am
Fuckin thanks y’all! I was watching the Office and forgot to hit publish on my post. So, if you clicked over and did not see the post I was referring to, then sorry!! Guest Post FAIL.
The latest from BusyDad…I Swear
September 26th, 2008 at 1:06 am
That was hilarious.
The latest from Siobhan…T13: Very Superstitious
September 26th, 2008 at 1:19 am
… and hell yes, Tara. I think we can swear at Blogher too.
The latest from BusyDad…I Swear
September 26th, 2008 at 2:15 am
hi-fucking-larious!
The latest from the planet of janet…Food for thought
September 26th, 2008 at 2:29 am
I have zero reason not to swear on my blog if I want, but I don’t, or rarely. Awesome fucking post. ;)
The latest from Maggie’s Mind…Haiku Friday 9/26/08
September 26th, 2008 at 2:34 am
Fucking awesome isn’t it?
You need a swearing blog dude, you are a fucking natural.
The latest from Kelley…Be careful what you wish for.
September 26th, 2008 at 4:06 am
Holy fucking shit, that was fucking funny. Bitch ass dogs. Bwahaha. However, I believe you meant I Met Amy Adams and Pussied Out Like a Punk ASS Bitch. Amy Adams FAIL.
My favorite though…
You Bitches Just Like Me For My Hot Fireman Friend
And your cute kid. Dont forget it.
The latest from Miss…Ocean Sized Love
September 26th, 2008 at 5:15 am
There will forever be a spot in my heart for fucking BusyDad or Jimmy as I like to call you!
The latest from Secret Agent Mama…Haiku Friday
September 26th, 2008 at 6:10 am
You know I’m waiting for all those posts to appear on BDB.
The latest from Vic @ Glowstars…Missing Children
September 26th, 2008 at 6:49 am
I love you both! kisses!
more drinking at 09!!!!
The latest from amy…as my memory rests/but never forgets what I lost
September 26th, 2008 at 7:40 am
Hanging with Hawt Bitches at BlogHo 08
My favorite.
This was the BEST way to start my morning. I am laughing out loud and love you more now. Awesome.
The latest from OHmommy…Solving the world’s problems one toddler at a time
September 26th, 2008 at 7:44 am
“shitwad” could me my new favorite adopted swear.
The latest from manager mom…Manager Mom’s Gallery Of Shame, Part 2
September 26th, 2008 at 7:57 am
Wow! It’s great to know you can curse with the best of us.
Fun post!
The latest from Meg… Famous People, Foreigners & Foreign Films
September 26th, 2008 at 8:40 am
This is hilarious, you might need to start a ‘Rated M for Mature’ blog!
The latest from Honeybell… Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For
September 26th, 2008 at 9:20 am
This was hysterical. Thanks for the laughs at 6am. Sorry I missed your shots initiation at Blogher.
The latest from JCK… I believe my Mound of Venus has been RIPPED OFF
September 26th, 2008 at 9:36 am
Fucking hysterical!
I LOVE the word “shitwad”. I’ve been partial to “Asshat” and “Fuckstick” lately. I do occasionally swear on my blog, but it’s almost naughty to go elsewhere to swear :)
Oh, and I always find the coolest blogs through your posts at BusyDad. Love the picture up there. I’m going to hang out and read some more!
The latest from Ashlie- MommyCosm… Haiku Friday: Homework
September 26th, 2008 at 9:54 am
glad im not the day u speaking and btw knocking out my demons is a song thanks for the title
The latest from rawdawgbuffalo… She gotta give me my ax
September 26th, 2008 at 10:59 am
From another closet-cursing dad - FUCKIN A!!
September 26th, 2008 at 11:13 am
I hope you fucking feel better. Kinda reminds me of my boss at my first job. Her preferred profanity was “Fucking Shit”.
Anyway, your post was funny. You always write some good shit.
Damn that WAS cathartic.
September 26th, 2008 at 11:13 am
LMAO. I’ve been waiting for you to throw out a fuck here or there. It’s nice isn’t it? And you fucking rock. Oh and please post more pics of your hot fireman friend. HAHA Keep on fucking, I mean trucking. LOL
The latest from Tiffany… I Feel Special
September 26th, 2008 at 11:13 am
BD, I worship your dedication to the boundaries of cussin’ like a truck driver. Mr. O was at his wits end with Muggsy one night, and Muggsy finally just dissolved into a full blown tantrum asking for more “juicy.” Mr. O, in a rare moment of lost control, yelled back at him “OKAY! I’ll get you your fuckin’ juicy!” As he walked from the family room, where Muggsy was flopped down in the aftermath of this particularly productive outburst, Mr. O heard “…yeah…Daddy…I want some fuckin’ juicy…”
Can’t wait for THAT to come out in preschool…
The latest from Ms. Maxwell… Mom! There’s a duck in the backyard!
September 26th, 2008 at 11:26 am
I thought the suckage was hilarious, so keep right on sucking! (Um, yeah, that sounded exaaaaactly how I meant it to.)
The latest from DFTF… Opie Goes to School
September 26th, 2008 at 11:38 am
That was fucking awesome. I’m much for swearing on my blog because I’m too much of a goody two shoes, I suppose — but in real life, I can say “DAMN IT!” with the best of them. :)
The latest from MommyTime… There Are Times When Only Poetry Will Suffice
September 26th, 2008 at 11:39 am
You are simply marvelous, not too mention hilarious. I don’t think I’ve ever read a blog as well-written, creative, and humorous as yours.
Where have you been all my blog life?
The latest from don… Top Ten Reasons why blogger Suite B is getting married
September 26th, 2008 at 11:46 am
Fucking funny, going to check out your blog now….
The latest from Employee No. 3699… Banana Colada
September 26th, 2008 at 11:56 am
Fucking HAWT, Busy Dad. But don’t let that bitch Maria take the fireman from me! I’m sure she’s gotten laid more recently than I have. I win.
The latest from April… X Meets the Neighbors
September 26th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
I am disappointed with the lack of picture of hot fucking friend.
Otherwise, great fucking post!
:)
The latest from Sybil Law… Lovey Munsters
September 26th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
Jim, Jim, Jim. Do you have any idea how proud of you I am right this minute? There are tears, man. Real, honest tears of pride.
The latest from Kori… So I Pissed You Off…..
September 26th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
@ auds oops!
@ tara you know me so well
@ flutter coming to BlogHo 09?
@ ophelia rock the fuck on!
@ siobhan I have my moments occasionally. thanks!
@ janet said with authoritay! thanks!
@ maggie I know what you mean. gratuitous swearing is worse than not swearing
@ kelley it is liberating indeed. maybe I should, if just for therapy’s sake
@ Miss that little fucker will always be my mojo
@ Secret Agent Mama YOU can fuckin call me anything you want!
@ Vic I would love to write them. once fury starts dropping f-bombs on his own maybe. then no one can blame the blog.
@Amy I will hold you to it. you rock thanks!
@OhMommy thanks OHMommy … or should I call you HawtBitch?
@ managermom that just rolls off the tongue doesn’t it?
@ Meg I’m a man of many hidden talents. Ok, not really a talent, hidden stuff.
@ honeybell it would be a fuckin hoot. any non-curser mom/dads with me?
@ JCK I’m all for do-overs
@ ashlie Oh yes, Maria is da fuckin bomb.
@ rawdawg I’m so not cool enough to get that sentence but fuckin thanks for reading and droppin the comment love
@ Alex F let it out. you’re among friends
@ daddy joe thanks man! fucking shit is a great word. sometimes shit isn’t emphatic enough.
@ tiffany I’m glad you enjoyed my cursing coming out party!
@ Ms Maxwell shit… now THAT’s fucking funny
@ DFTF oh I suck alright! sometimes alot.
@ mommytime seeing YOU drop the Fbomb made this post totally worthwhile.
@ don that is a fucking good compliment. Thank you very very much. shit yo.
@ employee it’s the same nonsensical shit. just more family friendly. thanks!
@ April I think Joey would appreciate a good cage match with Maria to win his heart.
@ Sybil I aim to please: http://www.busydadblog.com/entries/if-fury-wants-to-hang-out-dial-9-1-1.html
@ Kori I feel like it’s graduation day or something :)
The latest from BusyDad… I Swear
September 26th, 2008 at 8:05 pm
Holy shit! BusyDad kicked fuckin’ ass on this guest post. Too funny, man!
(I can’t curse at my site either.)
September 26th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
LOL. You are awesome.
If I couldn’t swear on my site I’d be in serious trouble.
The latest from Maria… tuesday morning, you sure look fine
September 26th, 2008 at 9:46 pm
Precisely why you need a special “members” section on your blog…for the “special” posts
The latest from Ashley… Just a Note
September 26th, 2008 at 10:48 pm
Fucking brilliant, BD :)
The latest from Half-Past Kissin’ Time… Friday Fragments
September 27th, 2008 at 6:11 pm
Doesn’t it feel better to get that all out?
The latest from Momo Fali… Let There Be Light, Eh?
September 28th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Bwaha..you said fuck. ;)
The latest from Huckdoll… Not Beautiful Yet
September 29th, 2008 at 9:47 am
BD, I fuckin’ KNEW you had it in ya!Rolling on the floor here, just rolling …
September 30th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
You fucking rock it BusyDad. And I definitely want to be included in the initiation ceremony BlogHer ‘09. That’s right Bitches.
October 5th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
I knew the real BD was lying in wait somewhere beneath that sweet daddy exterior. I love seeing it.
The latest from Missives From Suburbia… I Cannot Tell a Lie
November 14th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
What an extremely lovely post!! ;-)