I was asked this question last night and I had to reflect more on my answer, in the light of day.
I chose cheat.
Oh yea… btw. This is Miss. Maria asked me to cover for her because she is still recovering from her amazing weekend.
Getting back to the subject at hand. Cheating. Such a touchy subject, I know. But that’s what it’s all about here so I feel just fine talking about it.
Yes, I chose cheat. I’ve been cheated on in the past. It’s very much not fun. So why would I want to inflict that kind of pain on someone? Good question. I guess my answer depends on exactly what my definition of cheating is.
To me, a kiss with someone NOT your partner, isn’t cheating. Kissing, groping, getting a little dirty, not so bad. I mean, we only live once right? As long as you are using protection and using your BRAIN and not spreading diseases, then live it up.
However. Kissing, groping, getting a little dirty AND becoming emotionally attached? Now that is cheating. It would devastate me if my guy were to become emotionally involved with someone. I’ve been through that and its not fun. I think it would break my heart to know that he fell in love with someone else. To hear that he swapped a little spit, or even some bodily fluids with someone else? Well ok. As long as it meant nothing. I mean, I cant assume that I am 100% enough for him. That’s just selfish and cocky. But if I know that his heart is mine, then we are all good.
What the hell right? Ehh… I might sound like a guy, thinking with my vajayjay more than my mind, but its my truth. I guess in order to not hurt anyone, all parties involved would have to think like I do. But that just doesn’t seem likely, does it?
Thanks for letting me come invade your place Maria. You rock my socks, even IF my stick got horribly neglected in San Fran. I still love ya!
{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }
July 21, 2008 at 1:09 pm
GAH – tough question. I choose neither b/c the guilt would wreck me if I did it, and if he cheated, his ass would be kicked.
The latest from A Whole Lot of Nothing…Daddy Plays with Dolls
I say neither for me. I’d rather leave the relationship, I guess. HOWEVER…I’m huge on straight up honesty…so if it was discussed and then happened…
I can’t fathom this.
My take is if you wanna fuck around, go ahead, knock yourself out, just don’t drag someone who trusts you into it.
Don’t get involved in a relationship if you are too chicken shit to stick with it.
So in the perfect wee world in my head, the question never arises.
The latest from Xbox4NappyRash…The croc board speaks
Go, XBOX! I think that if you are in a committed relationship with someone-married or not, then kissing someone else is cheating. Exchaning bodily fluids of any kind is cheating. And it is all so cheap and disgusting and hurtful to everyone involved. Clearly I don’t have the same casual attitude about fucking people other than my partner as many people do, but I say if you (or anyone) wants to be kissing other folks or groping or what the fuck ever, then you shouldn’t be in a relationship.
The latest from Kori…It’s Not Exciting When It’s You-Crazy Stalker Guy Update
XBox… you little rascal! Yes, the same thing was discussed, leaving the relationship. Because really, since being in a relationship is always fucking rainbows, why would anyone feel the need to cheat right? I said last night that being in the relationship I’m in NOW, cheating wouldn’t cross my mind. However, by my own definition here, it’s not a big deal. I guess it all depends on how you look at the situation. I’m not here to JUDGE or tell others what they should or shouldn’t do with their life though. :)
The latest from Miss…Haha
Rascal my arse, you cheeky mare…
The latest from Xbox4NappyRash…The croc board speaks
Yeah, for me the physical is tied to the emotional, betrayal either way. I suppose that’s why I don’t get the whole “open relationship” thing.
Interesting post, though, Miss. Good on ya!
The latest from Karen MEG…My So-Called Second Life
Can of worms, indeed.
I think I choose to be cheated on. Cause right now I feel like I wouldn’t even care. And cheating would freak me out way too much. Yeah, I gots issues.
The latest from Bluestreak…Know what I love about Spain? Portugal.
Either or, either or. I’m glad we could inspire this post for you, Princess Leia :)
My opinion is that if you allow yourself to become emotionally attached to another person, then the marriage/relationship was broken in the first place and the involved parties should be man/woman enough to take important steps to either fix what’s broken or walk away.
My definition of cheating is physical contact and I’m at a point in my life where “cheating” is not even in my vocabulary.
If I want to be with someone else, I’ll leave the relationship I’m in before and physical contact with another person commences.
It’s not worth the guilt, lies, fear and sneaking around. That shit can kill you.
The latest from Huckdoll…Status: Hiatus
I’d have to choose cheat over be cheated on too. Who wouldn’t?
I have to disagree with your definition of cheating though. Interaction as intimate as “sharing bodily fluids” (love that, btw!), is a big no-no as far as my relationships go.
I have cheated and been cheated on, but we were both emotionally detached when this had happened. It would have been better if we had just gone our separate ways to begin with, but the comfort of each other lingered.
Emotional cheating is so painful. To think the one you love seeks comfort and love from someone else while you pine for them. That is heartbreaking.
I can see why just a random cheat might not be as painful, but if you cheat that means that the emotional attachment to the one you “love” is already starting to fade.
I know I am not the sexually exciting woman my Hubs would like me to be, but I do fulfill all of his needs and straying isn’t a worry of mine.
I’ve seen the devastation from being cheated on and the insane downward spiral cheating can throw someone into… I choose neither. The swapping of anything remotely organic should not be done with someone else if you are in a committed relationship.
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third cheat post i have read today, must be the new STD
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July 21, 2008 at 5:09 pm
I’m trying to think of something to say that someone else hasn’t already. Ok, all I’ve got is two past relationships, one of which I was stupid enough to renew twice. I never cheated.
God, I hated those men and would do anything else in the world to hurt them, but I couldn’t cheat. And no one’s ever stepped out on me, either.
Unfortunately, the emotional part – like having an ex start dating someone seriously a week after breaking up? That’s what would kill me more.
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All of you are awesome BTW. Maria, your readers rock. Glad we can share some of them!!
The latest from Miss…Haha
I fucking am aren’t I?
The latest from Xbox4NappyRash…The croc board speaks
aaah. i’d rather be cheated *on* because i could live with that. i don’t think i could live with hurting someone. but that’s just where i am *now*. tomorrow? who knows.
The latest from holly…sunday at starbucks and other stuff
I’ve done both – been cheated on and cheated on someone. Neither one is ideal, of course, and both were done when I was younger. With youth comes a lot of ignorance, and just not knowing the havoc it can create in your life – in both circumstances. Life is choices, and in my wisdom now(haha), I choose neither of those options. So saith me, miss wisdom. (Obviously I am joking! I’m not wise – just older.) :)
The latest from Sybil Law…Trolls
:bloody: I think I would rather poke my eye out with a spork than pick either. I have been cheated on and it SUCKS! I can’t imagine intentionally inflicting that much pain on anyone. :aie:
My husband betrayed me first with his dishonesty, thievery, and (I’m fairly certain) sexual affairs. When I cheated, it was my reward!
I choose to cheat every day and twice on Sunday. (Hmmm…wonder if that’s why I’m single?)
The latest from April…199th Post
I’ve done both. And both sucked…it sucked to be cheated on and it sucked to cheat & realize it was more because of spite and being neglected than any real emotional connection. Hmmm..I don’t think I’d do it again. But I did learn something. Every guy loves a flexible woman. LOL.
The latest from Lynette…2001 Things to Do before I die
I would totally choose “cheat” over “be chated on” because, well, I am selfish! I certainly don’t want to get hurt! And I would, if I was cheated on.
But if I cheat, can it be with someone famous? Or is that not considered cheating (he’s NOT on my “list,” so…)?
Seriously though, I guess I consider “cheating” to be anything that violates trust. And if that trust has been established based on emotional or physical reasons/characteristics/promises/err… actions?, then violating that trust (physically OR emotionally) would be considered “cheating,” IMO.
And for some people, the emotional and physical are connected, so… yeah, either one would be considered “cheating,” IMO.
Nice post! Thought-provoking.
The latest from Kristie…Not Music to MY Ears
I have definite opinions on this but you’d have to get me drunk to hear them.
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