A few weeks ago at the park, the girls were playing on their favorite jungle gym when a host of other little children arrived and started to play too. Ari had been going down the slide, over and over, taking her time and enjoying herself immensely. As she made to sit down and position herself to go down the slide again, one of the new little children, a little girl around 4 or 5 ran up, leaned down and put on the ugliest face she could to intimidate Ari.
“Get out of the way.” she sneered.
Ari looked at her, got up and moved back. The little girl bounded down the slide and Ari watched her disappear into the tube before disappearing herself behind the clubhouse wall where I couldn’t see, but I noticed her bottom lip start to curl before she was completely out of view.
I stormed up the stairs, imagining I was knocking all of the little brats, even the well behaved and polite ones, over the railing as I went. She sat on a tiny bench, arms folded across her chest and head hung low, her dark hair hiding her face. I scooped her into my arms, this tiny little thing that still fits into all my motherly nooks after almost 4 years, and hugged her to my chest. She wrapped her arms around my neck and laid her head on my shoulder, whimpering, and my heart hurt. It hurt especially because I thought she was so tough, that she’d never let another children run over her that way – I thought only her sister was that tender.
We stood under an old oak tree to the side of the sandbox and I leaned back to look at her.
“Are you ok?” I asked.
“No.” she cried, her dark eyes swollen and red.
“Do you want to go to the other part, and swing?”
“Yes,” she answered, wiping her round cheeks off with her dirty little hands.
So we left, The Bella remaining at the jungle gym with her father. I pushed her on the swings for 15 minutes, her big smile returning and her eyes sparkling like they had been before.
She forgot all about the previous incident. But I didn’t.
My eyes stung and I wondered where the hell that little brat’s parent was. Who the hell let her think it was ok for her to pick on other children, to be so rude without any hesitation, to a child she barely knew?
I was angry, angry that children are so mean to one another, that it comes so naturally to some. I was angry that this little girl was rude to my child. And I contemplated searching out that mother, just to glare and watch and see if she even paid attention to how her kids behaved.
As I stewed inside, Ari and I went back over to the jungle gym where The Bella was playing alone. The other children had moved on to the seesaws. Ari reclaimed her slide and I stood with my arms folded, pissed off.
Shitty parents. Rude kids. Ugh.
Another group of children ran up, climbing the stairs and making their way to where The Bella and Ari were. Bella saw them coming and stretched out her arms, grasping either side of the walkway and blocking their entrance. She furrowed her brow at them and said “You can’t play up here. Go AWAY.”
My sweet, easy going, friendly, never harsh to anyone, Bella. Being the playground asshole. Being rude.
And making me eat all the thoughts I’d had over the past 1/2 hour about the parents of, and the little girl that had hurt my baby’s feelings.
{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }
Yeah. Kids are good at that. Making you eat your words/thoughts. Sigh.
Oh. Crap. Every time I get militant at the playground, ready to kick some uncouth ass, one of mine does something that makes me want to go back in time and remember to take my birth control pill. I feel for you.
And that’s when you see certain parts of their personality sprout with nothing to do with the parent.
As usual, lovely post and lovely pics.
Are you sure she wasn’t just defending her li’l sis though?
July 16, 2009 at 8:41 am
Oh no, I’m positive. Bella didn’t witness the first incident, and wasn’t even near Ari when the second took place. She was being awful. lol
It always amazes me how mean kids can be. I mentor a boy who constantly gets picked on and it pisses me off that I have literally cussed out third graders who’ve had the nerve to do it in front of me!
As much as I hate to see the meanness in all children, I believe it’s necessary for each child to try on each personality. What is it like to be the bully? What is it like to be picked on? To be left out? To exclude someone else? We all had it happen to us. What we chose to do with the experiences varies greatly, but those experiences made us into the adults we are today.
Not that I condone actual BULLYING. There is a difference between being picked on occasionally and being made into a target.
Live and learn, right. Maybe it’s time I sat down with my girls and reminded them about being polite and sharing. I try to do that every 3 months or so, but it’s been a while.
What (if anything) did you say to Bella? Just wonderin’! ;)
I deal with the same stuff, except it’s Boo’s bossyness. She has a little boy-friend that treats her like a doormat and then she turns around and starts bossing everyone else. Aggravation.
You and I would be a formidable team at the playground. Some of those kids bring out the mama bear in me, I want to scream and cry when they pick on or exclude Gigi but then I sometimes turn to find Gigi dishing it out and I just pretend “who’s kid is that?” (kidding but seriously, I use those moments to gently remind/say “Hey, remember when you were treated that way? How it felt? Words are powerful baby.”
Yep. Been there, done that. :)
In my experience they learn from other children. Those who get bullied often become bullies themselves, or need to find another outlet for the anger that builds up after you get treated unfairly a few times, or many.
My daughter Sarah was the sweetest thing, until we moved and she started going to this snobbish German private school, and her behavior began to change. It improved after I found out about the bullying and made it stop, but I feel like she is harder, less carefree than she was before, when she didn’t know other kids could be so mean.
well, shit.
I too have been there done that..sucks. But wanted to say how cute that picture of baby girl is..
I just found your site, you have beautiful daughters!! I’m sorry that she had such a tough time on that slide, the parents really should watch!
DUDE. Just went through this myself with Mikey. Fer reals. He was being mean to a little kid JUST TO BE MEAN. Kids are assholes and they tear your heart out with their sweetness too.
But I guess we do the same when we’re in our grown up pants now don’t we?
In no way do I mean this judgemental. But I am wondering why you didn’t tell Ari to hold her ground and not give in to bullies? To stick up for herself?
wait til your four year old tells your 400lb ophthalmologist “You’re fat!”…..to her face…….in the midst of conversation. :(
sorry to tell you, it doesn’t get easier. on the upside, sometimes that shit is fun-ney :P
Get em Bella! Lmao. I think I would have lost my mind if I saw Goobie get up! Omg my little tough baby got up?! What in the world! Bella on the other hand, I can see that! Lol. I’m sure she is going through it all in school this year. Gotta love them!
I often avoid our local park, because it is SO full of brat kids that shove mine because she is shorter than them. It takes everything I have to not go up to those assholes and give them a mouthful or to their mothers. Because, to be quite honest, some of those bitches are scary. Honestly, I should take secret pictures of them, because they remind me of the scary bitch nurse in Drop Dead Fred. I’m actually in the process of finding a new park, which is hard to do when you live in a town the size of a microwave.
PS. Your girls looks gorgeous and happy, as always. I hope things are going great for you.
You have to hope that parents don’t know their children are being so rude. However, I doubt it. Usually they are assholes too. I always tried to instill in my two girls to be kind to others, put yourself in their shoes. Don’t pick on others. It worked.
I cannot stand a rude, smart ass child. Why would a parent think this is okay?
ahhh, fuck.
Don’t you just love it when your kids knock you off your high horse. No? Yeah – me neither.
I used to hate the bigger kids for riding slides backwards or something else that I knew my little kids couldn’t do and get so annoyed. And then Sylvia started doing it. At least when it’s your own kid, you get to discipline them!
My my. That is quite the turn around. You are so right, kids have a knack for making us eat our words