I’m a bit…crass on this blog. I know I am. I accept it. I appreciate it. It’s me. You either love it or you hate it. Take it or leave it, I could care less. I will be me regardless, and the only people that can come close to making me consider changing who I am are those who actually know me.
One thing I am pretty proud of is that immoralmatriarch and Maria are the same person. Don’t understand? OK. I’ll elucidate.
Ask a friend. Any friend. Any off the web, not-just-bloggy-friend I have and they will tell you: I am exactly the way I am in real life, as I am online. There is nothing I have said online that I will not say to your face, given the right opportunity. I may choose not to sometimes, or I may even decide that it’s best for me to put a bit of icing on top of the throwing star to make it go down a bit easier, but I’ll say it if I feel like it, and however I feel like it. Usually? It’ll come out the same way from my mouth as it does from my fingertips.
[*reminds self not to curse on panel @ BlogHer: pretend grandparents are in the audience*]
But I’ve run across a handful of a certain type of online character lately that I cannot stand. A type commonly referred to as a troll/anonymous/pseudonymous/fake fucker. Or, an eBaller. I’ll let B. Scott give you the definition:
We’ve all run across them. eBallers. Give them a keyboard and they’ll be tossing out jabs, assumptions, frivolous claims and all other types of incessant bullshit that they wouldn’t dare spew to the face of whom said bullshit is directed towards.
I’ve found that when dealing with these fucktards, all you can really do is what B. Scott said. Flick ‘em off. Because you really have been put down by better. We all have. Even if better just means a person willing to reveal their true identity. ;) Shit, even if you haven’t, take their crap as a compliment – you’re obviously a fuckload more important to them than they are to you for them to take the time to do what they’re doing anyway.
eBallers both amuse and sadden me. I wonder who could be so lame that they must hide behind the quasi-anonymity of the internet in order to speak their mind. I mean, you have to be pretty goddamn lame, right?
Tsk, tsk. *Shakes head* Poor, poor, lame eBallers. Grow some real ones. Or STFU.
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Best post ever, I can also attest to my vocal cords and finger tips producing the same result. I love Maria.
Stalkers are so much more awesome than trolls.
Don’t curse in the forum. I’ll hold up a picture of your grandparents.
The latest from Mr Lady…Young Love
Gawd, he so purdy!
And babe, as I said to our lovely Assy, these people mean you have made it baby. Haters only hate cause they want to be you.
And I wanna be you. Cause you are awesome and sexy and shit. Not just because you are going to BlogHer ;)
Double kisses!!!
The latest from Kelley…I ain’t got no more kidneys to sell…
July 16, 2008 at 12:34 am
Bwahahahaha. And how interesting when I consider what I’ll be posting about. I wonder if any eBallers will show up for that!?
The latest from Zoeyjane…On romance and flowers
“Momma is home now.”
I have never hear the term eballer. But I love it now.
The latest from ohmommy…A Baby, Jewelry Box, and some Legos
Oh dear. Guilty as charged?
Not really. I say it all on the street too.
And who doesn’t love a guy with a great set of tits?
The latest from Sue Doe-Nim…Down Home Mommy Blogging and a Recipe to Cook The Books
Being honest is just so much easier than being fake. I lived in so much dysfunction (and lies) as a child that I have embraced the truth and being who I am. Like you, I feel sad for those who don’t even know who they are…
The latest from Half-Past Kissin’ Time…In Which I Get Busted
Some people…lemme tell ya. Hiding behind their little e-persona, thinking that what they’re saying to you really matters or hurts you…but the joke is on those fools because trust me…it takes more than an insult from a fool who won’t show his face or be his true self online to hurt my feelings. They can keep trying though. LOL.
The latest from Mika…The New Yorker…
the only blogs that i enjoy reading are ones that are true. ones like yours where you can kind of tell that it’s the real person coming through!! y’know what i mean?
xo
The latest from melissa…Embarrassing Moment Brought To You By Seagrams Wine Coolers…
That video, B. Scott, was hilarious. Now I have to go search all of his/her productions.
That being said, e-ballers SUCK!
The latest from Secret Agent Mama…Wordless Wednesday With Words
I’m at work, and I’m not about to watch the vid. So please forgive me if he/she (????) already said this, but Eballer, as I’ve always used it, was somebody who lied/pretended about finances/material belongings etc in general. Is that what he/she (????) was talking about in the vid Maria? I just wanna stay current w/ the new lingo (Smile).
Anyhow, I would like to play Devil’s Advocate if I may. WHAT IF … WHAT IF … there is a guy who is the President of the Official He-Man Woman Haters Club, but he works for a woman? Or he happens to work in a place where that type of sexism could get you fired on G.P.?
This guy is extremely open w/ all of his friends and family about his massive hatred for the fairer sex, but he would like to not end up like one of those jackasses who loses his job because of a myspace page or a blog??
Would you consider that person to be an Eballer? E-Poseur? or whatever these people are called these days.
Sincerely,
Your Favorite E-Thug’s Favorite E-Thug.
P.S. Nuthin’ wrong w/ a lil cussin’. I say when you get to Blogher … BE MARIA. Cuss to your heart’s content!!!! LET IT OUT!!!
July 16, 2008 at 9:46 am
No, you’re way off. That’s no where near what an eBaller is.
LOL… Clarify please.
You’re saying “NO” to the first description (somebody lying about their finances in particular) or the second description (somebody who remains anonymous to protect their job)???
Or to both?
I need to make sure I have this down so that I can accurately know what types of E-People I’m dealing with. Then I can be like…”MARIA TOLD ME ABOUT YOU DREADED E-BALLERS!!! CURSES BE ONTO YOUR FAMILIES!”
U know … shit like that (Smile).
July 16, 2008 at 11:02 am
Someone who leaves mean comments on blogs or message boards or in groups or whatever but would never say that type of shit to your face. And also one that hides behind ‘anonymous’ or pseudonyms to avoid being judged or harassed in return.
Makes me wish for the thrill of having a troll…just to say I have one. I’d be all, “Look people, I have a flamer! I’m finally cool enough to be hated!”
The latest from Lilacspecs…Music Monday – It’s Oh So Quiet
Oh you know I said my piece about them too. Fuck those guys. So glad there is a name for them now.
The latest from Betsey…Memory Lane
I am totally with lilacspecs, ha ha! :)
The latest from Kori…Planning the Vacation
I had a few nasty anon comments a few months back. Turns out it was people I knew…I found it funny. I knew they were doing it because they were jealous…now they’re just stalkers because I removed my anon comments! :p
The latest from Alison…My Strength Comes in Shamrock Form
I want a troll – I’ve already written a brilliant post cutting them down to size – why can’t I have a troll!?
The latest from Don Mills Diva…Old friends, new friends
Coined a new term today..but yet to come face to face with an eballer yet..
Though I would love to hang around Miss B Scott because that video had me laughing out loud.
The latest from Kim…Wordless Wednesday – Fill ‘er Up!!
July 16, 2008 at 11:08 am
I fucking LOVE him. I’m subscribed to his YouTube channel. LOL
TOMORROW evening!! I’ll be witnessing that LAHNG Island accent in person! Wooo!!
Eballer=coward.
This is just one of the reasons why I love you….(not in the lesbian stalker way. although I have been talking a lot about them recently). Because your honest.
But it sounds so funny from the pretty pretty B. Scott.
The latest from Mrs. Kitty…So who will our children look like???
I say Amen to that. Be who you are WHEREVER you are. I’m not cool enough to have eballers, but maybe when I grow up…LOL
The latest from Lynette…***FLASHBACK***
I guess we’ve gone now from trolls to eballers?! I like it.
Trolls are just sad, pathetic people with nothing better to do than to start shit on someone’s blog, because the only time they can feel alive is when they’re putting someone else down.
Probably, in their real lives, they don’t have any friends, so it’s also the only way they can run a dialogue with people.
Either way, B. Scott rocks.
I had never heard of the term Eballers before. Awesome.
The latest from Ashley…15 Months Old
I am not a fan of the troll. And, I like you precisely because you refuse to be someone other than yourself on your blog.
She’s lying, people. She is different in real life. She says FUCK a whole lot more in person. HAHAHHAHHAHAHAHA. Yeah, otherwise, she’s right on. ;)
And I’ve heard her make that teeth-sucking noise IRL too. That noise isn’t easy to type. Tchch? Tchte? Tzich? Hmph.
Gotta love eBallers. They’re SO tough…!
The latest from Kristie…I have a crush on happiness.
Seriously, who is so high school that they can’t man up (or woman up) to what they say? It’s kinda lame cliche, but ‘if you can’t walk the walk, don’t talk the talk.’ You are gonna rock at BlogHer!
We’ve got a few of those guys trolling around Humor-Blogs clicking the sad face to drag down our ratings–not that I care about ratings, it’s just sad to go out of one’s way to make a point that you don’t like something.
The latest from Meg…In Which I Lose The Battle
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