I love you.
No, not you.
Them.
Behind you.
Made you look!
My posting has been sporadic at best. I don’t mind. I don’t have as much to say, but I’m still always in my head, figuring out the best way to transfer my thoughts into words. I think it’s different as well. It’s not so much engaging and inviting of discussion; more so declarations of my brain through my fingertips into my editor and purged onto the screen. Whether that’s good or bad yet, I don’t know. I appreciate the community, I just feel I’ve been too wrapped up in it.
My commenting has been even more lax. I still read as fervently as ever, and I’ve realized that not pressuring myself to comment has enabled me to absorb your words more and remember them longer. There was a subconscious rush to my journey through my Google reader before: me reading but not retaining what you wrote because I was too worried about making sure I had the time and energy and desire to read and comment the next person as well.
I find this a fair trade off. I hope you can accept that less frequent comments from me are not a bad thing, that it means that I’m actually taking you farther in than I probably used to. I’m not concerned with my own numbers – I’m proud to say that neither Woopra nor Statcounter have been opened in months. Yes, monthssss. I don’t care. Numbers don’t matter to me. I hope that if you read me reciprocally that you stop now because the reciprocation is probably going to anyway. My feelings won’t be hurt.
I’m totally uninhibited. Emails sit for not minutes, but sometimes days before I respond and I don’t flip out. My nights are not consumed by Plurk and I barely log onto my social networking sites. I’ve officially broken out of my cage, my prism that was holding me hostage, my internet obsession. I am glad. I enjoy my internet time again, wasting it exploring Flickr and Tumblr and ffffound, and finding new blogs to read because I actually have time to absorb myself in more.
I have not asked any more questions. I have not drafted a blog post in which to showcase the already received answers. The response was overwhelming and my creativity is lacking, there was no way I could think of to properly give you what I promised. So, I’m sorry that I wasted your time. Feel free to take your question and turn into blog fodder of your own.
My recent post about some republicans/conservatives pissed a lot of people off. I don’t think I’ve ever received so many emails on a post. All of them I took time to respond to and most of the correspondence ended on a positive note, without me rescinding one word because I still stand by every single thing I wrote. No, I don’t want people to be angry or hurt, but after I emailed back, my hands were clean whether they were happy or not. Feels good to be confident in my words, no matter the reaction. I hope those people and I are cool, but if not…*shrugs* It’s my blog, and I can throw a ridiculous temper tantrum here if I feel like it. I don’t think I’ve ever given the impression that this was a blog to come to for fluff or cute stories or feel good anecdotes. It’s not, and there are many like that that I can direct you to if that’s what you’d prefer. This is real, it’s me, it’s good, it’s bad, it’s nice, it’s bitchy, it’s over the top, it’s vague, it’s bullshit, it’s mine.
I’m in a good place right now. A place of truth and good times, of nonchalance and self-absorption. Where I belong and feel best. I’m staying here.
Oh and a list of changes to the blog itself:
- I changed my blog theme, obviously, unless you’re feed reading. I like it. It’s clean and simple, but has room for the shit in my sidebar which, save the ads, is still pretty basic.
- I updated my blogroll [ finally! ].
- I took my tagline back to the old standard ‘you don’t have to agree with me‘. It rings truer today than at any other time.
- I moved my comments over to the Disqus system. I really like it, and I suggest you make a profile there so people can find out more about you by hovering over your avatar.
- I disabled the passwords on all the old posts, except for one that was written by a guest who requested it be protected. No more hiding anything.
- I bought a camera [finally], so I added a Flickr widget to my sidebar as well.
That is all.
Hope you’re well.
{ 65 comments… read them below or add one }
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You DID change your template, and I DO love it! Very nice, yo. Oh, and *waves fairy magic wand* you are hereby exempted from every having to comment on my blog again. I know you're out there. *smooch*
Whatever – I greedily take any word crumbs you throw at me, and come back for more. :)
xo
I heart this new template so HARD! Loads way faster. (BTW, “behind you” is up there with “got your nose”. Gets me every god damned time.) As long as you're making yourself happy with this blog, the rest of us will follow.
That sounds like a really nice routine. I wish I had one. There's no clear line between work and home since I'm a SAHM. Usually after everyone else goes to bed I come on here and read/write, do laundry, and then I start the dishwasher when I go to bed.
You told me you only loved me.
I feel so cheated.
Do what you want with your blog babe, cause you know I loves ya regardless.
You know, when I came back to my blog in August, I made a conscious decision not to look at the numbers. I don't have ANYTHING on my blog that counts visits. I have a technorati account because I want to know who is linking to me, but not for vanity.
I have never been happier with my blog. My readership is about 20% of what it used to be and I'm ok with that. People who visited my blog only only because I visited theirs have decided that they really don't like me now that I'm not returning the favor, and to them I say good riddance. I am not a number, I am a person.
So, good for you. My commenting has been the shits lately, too, so I don't take your absence personally at all. I'm still reading the blogs I always was, I'm just not always commenting. I get it.
Sounds like you ARE in a good place. Good for you.
I really like the new theme. It's sharp and clean and nice and yummy. Also, your RSS dolly is really cute.
I'm glad that you're not consumed by the internet anymore. It's hard sometimes because it's so easy to get sucked in to things like Plurk and Twitter and feeling like you have to comment on everything. I think I have finally found a balance in reading blogs and only commenting when I really have something to say. But who knows if that will last!
I love your comments, of course, but I love reading your blog and knowing you're back in our bloggy little world and happy even more!
I love this post so much I just may make out with it. (Is that illegal?)
November 10, 2008 at 9:36 am
As I sit here, I could totally be all, ooh, pretty and ahhh happy and stuff, but I'm sorry, your gorgeous girls are in the sidebar and I am wicked envious of your photog skills. Can you please start to suck at something? Anything?
It's good to take a step back, to stop and think and just take things in. If you're in a good place, that's all the matters. The rest will wait.
You love me. You really love me.
I am not quite sure I stumbled upon you, but I am glad I did. Brutal honesty is good. Sometimes it what everyone needs. Stop prancing around the bull shit and just say it.
Maria unplugged….I love it.
The Internet has an obvious ability to weave itself into our lives so intricately that we may feel trapped and held down, if we're not careful. It's important to repeatedly weed and reevaluate the reasons and time spent online.
Comments are nice, but not required. When I post for the comment number, I suffer. I tense up, and I am not fully in my life's moment…
Good for you, Maria.
Well *looking around* I like it. And I appreciate you F'ing my I. LOL
I'll still pop by 'cause I like it here.
Every blogger feels the same way at some point, Maria. Post for yourself, comment when you feel the need or inclination. That's what I'm doing nowadays. I'm slowly learning that the amount of comments doesn't necessarily correlate with how many readers you have.
Like the new layout, but I like the old one, too. ;)
Hey there…
I like the streamlined look. Just thought I'd let you know that if you are loving on the people behind me (in my office) you are loving on some narrow-minded bigoted Republicans ;-P. I'll enjoy your posts whether you post once a day or once a year so no pressure here.
Lookin' good lady, and like Ginny said, loads much faster. ;) And like you said, clean and simple, which I am a fan of in my own life.
I love the new look!
I too love the new look.. and I am wickedly happy you are behind the camera now.. you will love it I just know it. and your blogging philosophy is awesome..
November 10, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Oh I totally think I have 'the eye' and I always have thought that, but I've
kept my mouth shut because it seems everyone with a Flickr account nowadays
think they do too. LOL Hopefully I'll get better and better. I've already
got a list of lenses I want to buy. :)
November 10, 2008 at 2:53 pm
Oh, I do like the new template. Very clean and airy. I love it.
I love that you just fess up and move on. I need to do that. If one more person asks me where I've been lately…. Ugh. I'm right here. Back off people. I like the new look too. I'm all about the cleanlined.
I'm so glad you're in a good place right now. The place looks great, and I'm loving the pics of those gorgeous girls.
*shrug*
Sounds good to me.
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