“What’s Santa bringing you for Christmas?” asked the woman behind the checkout counter at Baby Gap.
“He’s not real.” answered Bella.
The woman’s eyes almost popped out of her head. “WHAT?” she exclaimed like the child had just called her a smelly armpit face.
“He’s not real.” Bella repeated.
“Yes he is!!” she said, looking at me. I narrowed my eyes at her, trying to convey my message of ‘watch what you say next’ without saying it aloud. She caught my drift and added “He lives in our hearts, in the hearts of everyone!”
Bella looked at me and I smiled. “She means everyone buys gifts for everyone to make everyone happy, so we’re all Santa Clause.”
“Yes! Yes! That’s what I mean! The spirit of Christmas!” said the lady, stuffing the clothing in the bag. “Happy Holidays!” she said as we left.
—--
“Hey! Are you going to see Santa?” asked our waitress in Chili’s.
“He’s not real.” said Bella, stuffing a nacho chip in her mouth.
“Yes he is!! He’s at the mall right now!”
“That’s just a guy pretending to be Santa.”
“But why would someone do that?”
“Because he’s helping the grownups that tell stories to their kids.”
“Oh. Well…” mumbled the waitress, obviously surprised. “Ok.” She frowned at me and I hugged Bella closer to my side without realizing it, as if my body was attempting to reassure this woman that I actually did love my children, and I wasn’t pure evil.
All over television there is Santa. The shows that deal with non believers always end in them being proved wrong and realizing “OMG! HE IS REAL!” Not one show we’ve watched can avoid it, or tells the truth. The only Christmas episode I’ve enjoyed is A Huey Freeman Christmas, from The Boondocks. Why I like it can be summed up here (NSFW):
The whole entire world is feeding into this farce and it is ridiculously annoying. You want to lie to your kids -- fine -- have a blast. I don’t care at all.
But why does the entire world have to participate? Why should my kid be looked at like a purple eyed alien for being the beautiful, honest person that she is, and why should I be made to feel like I’m depriving the girls of some great thing by not bullshitting them? It’s crazy.
Isabella’s 5. Santa has serious appeal to her right now. She’s almost disappointed in the fact that she knows he’s not real. So we had a discussion.
“Do you want me to tell you stories?”
“No.”
“Well if I said that Santa was real, it’d be a story. I’d be lying to you.”
“I wouldn’t like it if you lied to me. You shouldn’t lie to people.”
“Well I won’t, so I won’t say Santa is real.”
Why can’t the rest of the gotdamn universe appreciate that?
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I was quite shocked the other day when I heard Maya comment that she is going to wait up for Santa. I’ve never fed my kids that bs. I guess I didn’t expect Maya to pick up that stuff b/c she doesn’t have grandparents here telling her that he exists like Drew did. When he was little, I walked a fine line between not openly calling my in laws liars about the issue and not endorsing it. nonetheless, he was all of about four or five when he said openly that there was no such thing. he never asked. he just said it matter of factly and that was the end of that. I love kids
illegitimateAngel´s last blog post..Waiting for it.
I very gingerly raised the question of whether there’s any point playing into the Santa pretense with our two-year-olds. My husband responded with a resounding vote for Santa. This, after our Jess specifically said she doesn’t want Santa coming to our house. When hubby suggested that the Bearded One would bring her new PJs, she said, “No. Mommy Daddy buy it, please.” Hubby’s the religion and holidays guy, though, and this is his first holiday season with us after two Christmases deployed. I’m happy to do it his way!
I read a blog recently from someone who was questioning how to deal with Santa when raising her kids. She decided that they would not say he wasn’t real until their kids ask, and that they wouldn’t lie. She wanted to paint Santa more as the spirit of Christmas and show her kids how to help others during that time by doing some special volunteering etc. I think we’ll kinda do that.
Rachael´s last blog post..Contest!
Oh man, I feel you so much right now. My “fuck santa” post spawned all kinds of talk of “believing in magic”, “Christmas spirit”, “killing childhood innocent”, “bitch your gonna burn in hell so keep your kids away from mine” blah blah blah. Not to mention the “yes he is real” posts that followed in response. Santa is NOT the reason for the season and its the adults who are the ones who have the hardest time wrapping their heads around this.
Now, just the mere mention of HIM makes me wanna scream. I think I’m gonna have to give one last fuck you to Santa by showing he actually has a Fuck You Fan Club.
I wasn’t raised believing in Santa, nor do I plan on feeding that BS to my kids. I’m not sure how much my fiancee cares about it. I know he isn’t too adamant about Santa, but he is a bit more about Sinterklaas (Belgian version of Saint Nick).
However he is an atheist and I plan on playing the “Sinterklaas is the same lie as god” card when it comes time to have holidays with kids.
So yeah, Fuck Santa. If there’s a club, I’m in.
Lilacspecs´s last blog post..A Little Too Ironic, Yeah I Really Do Think
Well, for me the Santa myth is more of a fantasy that I don’t mind keeping alive for the kids. I never believed in Santa while growing up (good luck finding an ASIAN Santa LOL), and there’s a part of me that wishes that I had. There’s enough crap in this lifetime that to have a happy, mythical figure for them to think about when they’re young, somebody/ something that brings some extra joy into their lives, well, I don’t consider that necessarily bad thing. So I’m lying to them, so be it, they’ll be smart enough to figure it out and then appreciate that they got extra Christmas loot out of the deal.
And it gives me a bit of an edge sometimes to get them to behave around the holidays. They do want to stay on the “nice” list, right?
Honestly, I think the boy has known for at least a couple of years but won’t say anything until his sister figures it out. He was about 5 when he told me that the Santas in the malls and Christmas parties weren’t the real Santa, as the real Santa was too busy to do speaking engagements. They were just his reps.
Maria, have a wonderful holiday with your girls and family.
Karen MEG´s last blog post..1234
We’ve considered telling the truth, but they believe so we go with the whole “he’s in your heart” stuff. It makes our kids happy, so we keep telling the story. Just recently they read the story of Saint Nicholas and enjoyed it very much. I think it might have tied it together for Mikey, who is ten.
I do get where you are coming from with this post and your attitude about it all, Mama.
SECRET AGENT MAMA´s last blog post..Naturally Unhurried
Regardless of what I tell my kids, I think it’s awesome that you don’t tell your kids stories.
I can’t believe people are shocked that she says he’s not real.
There is just too much judgment on things that are no one else’s business going on.
Happy Holidays!
Betsey´s last blog post..My Super Excellent Holiday Post!
I allow the boys to believe in Santa.. But your post really isn’t a debate on if you should or shouldn’t.. Your doing what is right for you and your girls.. No one has the right to make them feel like purple aliens.. Having said that..people do not know how to keep their opinions to themselves.. Bella’s answers were real, and honest.. What more can you ask for from a child?
Kim´s last blog post..A Very Special Message To You All!!
December 24, 2008 at 10:03 am
@Kim:
This is definitely not a post about children believing in Santa – you’re exactly right. It’s simply a rant about the fact that it’s almost unheard of for children not to believe, the way people react to it, and vaguely, my wish that there were a few shows on Nick Jr. that either didn’t talk about Santa Clause at all, or told the truth. For the kids like mine. :)
I can’t even adequately describe how these people looked at Bella. It was just disgusting to me. I’m glad they both let it go pretty easily though. Not really into public altercations about Santa Clause. *lol*
I laughed at this post. Just yesterday I was saying to my husband that I couldn’t remember a time when I *did* believe in Santa Claus. There were too many older kids in the neighbourhood I think to allow that to happen.
We’ve told Nate about Santa, but he seems to care less. He’s not a very materialistic kid, so for him, it’s just another weird story the grownups in his life go on about! ;)
Mandy´s last blog post..Winter Wonderland
Personally I’m into brainwashing my kids with the original Grinch animated movie….Maybe Christmas, the Grinch thought, doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas, he thought, means a little bit more.
But whatever works for your family. I agree that others shouldn’t judge. I mean, if you were Jewish there’d be no rolled eyes at all.
Happy Holidays!
Prefers Her Fantasy Life´s last blog post..A Mostfina Christmas
I DO tell my kid there’s a Santa. I grew up with it and I’m going to tell him the same thing. Your children are YOURS and you can tell them whatever you want to raise them as you like. They’re YOUR kids. And I’m not bashing you. But I do have a question. Do you get offended if people wish you a Merry Christmas? I was just wondering. Some people take offense while others don’t mind at all. I’m just curious. And I’m wishing you a happy day whatever you believe in. Love ya!
I have a friend who refuses to even broach the topic of religion with her kids. She just finds that it is such extra curricular that it isn’t even worthy of a topic. It makes perfect sense to her and her husband. Kinda like the way I will probably never think to talk about The Russian Mob with my kids.
But imagine the wheels spinning while on a field trip her daughter works up the courage to ask why ‘all these buildings have a lower case “t” on them?’
traci´s last blog post..Possible Blog Fodder, and also why you might stop reading me
December 24, 2008 at 11:20 am
@Tiffany:
That’s the thing I can’t stand though – the rest of the world completely caters to you and your kids because you believe. Kids that don’t believe – I hate that there’s no where you can go to escape Santa. What about the realists?? It’s DISCRIMINATION I TELL YA! And no, I don’t get offended at all. Merry Christmas Tiff!
My kids have known the truth for a few years now, but they still love playing the game.
Loved the video.
April´s last blog post..Weekend Wrap-Up
It is amazing what people who don’t know you will decide is within their rights to question you on. You’re the parent, it’s your call. End. dot. period.
Tara R.´s last blog post..Random Wednesday ~ Christmas Eve!
I say do what you like. My kids found out pretty early Santa was NOT real, and I was perfectly okay with it, since it was because of my profound inability to keep secrets.
(That episode of the boondocks makes me laugh so hard I snot)
I can see how people find it jarring, because it is such a prevalent holiday thing. But what’s the difference between the way you raise your kids and how people with non-christian religious beliefs raise their kids? I don’t understand why everyone feels the need to voice their assumptions–putting others in completely awkward positions.
We’ll do the Santa thing with S and MJ, not because I feel obligated to but because I’m a huge goober for that sort of thing. But if they’re anything like me they’ll figure the ruse out pretty early on.
To me, this is no different than people giving me crap because we don’t believe in God. Same sort of purple-eyed-alien stare, same irrational feeling that I must reassure people that we’re not pure evil.
Merry Christmas, Maria!
Oh man, the terror people have when they find out your kids don’t believe in Santa. It’s crazy! I was raised knowing he wasn’t real, and it was such a non-issue to me as a kid. My own kids know he’s just a fun story, and so far neither have become immoral lunatics for it. Eh.
December 24, 2008 at 1:43 pm
What do you mean he is not real? The kids and I are tracking his every move on google maps right now. http://www.noradsanta.org/en/home.html
He is in Pakistan. LOL!
Have a very merry Christmas and hug those sweet girls from me.
Merry Christmas, Maria! Hope you all have a fabulous one.
tracey´s last blog post..Last minute letter to Santa…
I may not agree with you on this, but I respect the hell out of you and I get where you’re coming from.
We may handle this thing differently and see it differently, but I still loves ya, respect ya and send you tons of hugs and Christmas wishes.
I hope it’s a wonderful one for you and the girls.
And I agree that it’s ludicrous for you and the girls to get dirty looks or have people stare at you like y’all are aliens. That’s silly.
Rachel´s last blog post..Carrots, Reindeer and Icy Rooftops: The Christmas Eve Story
Wow, it’s refreshing to hear someone say it. As a Christian, I feel like I really am lying to them if I told them there was a santa. Every person who says it’s not lying is lying to themselves or being selfish. Kids aren’t missing anything by not “believing” in Santa. The parents are the ones missing out on the “experience” for them.
Stephanie´s last blog post..Sour much?
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