Fuck Yo Santa!
“What’s Santa bringing you for Christmas?” asked the woman behind the checkout counter at Baby Gap.
“He’s not real.” answered Bella.
The woman’s eyes almost popped out of her head. “WHAT?” she exclaimed like the child had just called her a smelly armpit face.
“He’s not real.” Bella repeated.
“Yes he is!!” she said, looking at me. I narrowed my eyes at her, trying to convey my message of ‘watch what you say next’ without saying it aloud. She caught my drift and added “He lives in our hearts, in the hearts of everyone!”
Bella looked at me and I smiled. “She means everyone buys gifts for everyone to make everyone happy, so we’re all Santa Clause.”
“Yes! Yes! That’s what I mean! The spirit of Christmas!” said the lady, stuffing the clothing in the bag. “Happy Holidays!” she said as we left.
—–
“Hey! Are you going to see Santa?” asked our waitress in Chili’s.
“He’s not real.” said Bella, stuffing a nacho chip in her mouth.
“Yes he is!! He’s at the mall right now!”
“That’s just a guy pretending to be Santa.”
“But why would someone do that?”
“Because he’s helping the grownups that tell stories to their kids.”
“Oh. Well…” mumbled the waitress, obviously surprised. “Ok.” She frowned at me and I hugged Bella closer to my side without realizing it, as if my body was attempting to reassure this woman that I actually did love my children, and I wasn’t pure evil.
All over television there is Santa. The shows that deal with non believers always end in them being proved wrong and realizing “OMG! HE IS REAL!” Not one show we’ve watched can avoid it, or tells the truth. The only Christmas episode I’ve enjoyed is A Huey Freeman Christmas, from The Boondocks. Why I like it can be summed up here (NSFW):
The whole entire world is feeding into this farce and it is ridiculously annoying. You want to lie to your kids – fine – have a blast. I don’t care at all.
But why does the entire world have to participate? Why should my kid be looked at like a purple eyed alien for being the beautiful, honest person that she is, and why should I be made to feel like I’m depriving the girls of some great thing by not bullshitting them? It’s crazy.
Isabella’s 5. Santa has serious appeal to her right now. She’s almost disappointed in the fact that she knows he’s not real. So we had a discussion.
“Do you want me to tell you stories?”
“No.”
“Well if I said that Santa was real, it’d be a story. I’d be lying to you.”
“I wouldn’t like it if you lied to me. You shouldn’t lie to people.”
“Well I won’t, so I won’t say Santa is real.”
Why can’t the rest of the gotdamn universe appreciate that?
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I was quite shocked the other day when I heard Maya comment that she is going to wait up for Santa. I’ve never fed my kids that bs. I guess I didn’t expect Maya to pick up that stuff b/c she doesn’t have grandparents here telling her that he exists like Drew did. When he was little, I walked a fine line between not openly calling my in laws liars about the issue and not endorsing it. nonetheless, he was all of about four or five when he said openly that there was no such thing. he never asked. he just said it matter of factly and that was the end of that. I love kids
illegitimateAngel´s last blog post..Waiting for it.
I very gingerly raised the question of whether there’s any point playing into the Santa pretense with our two-year-olds. My husband responded with a resounding vote for Santa. This, after our Jess specifically said she doesn’t want Santa coming to our house. When hubby suggested that the Bearded One would bring her new PJs, she said, “No. Mommy Daddy buy it, please.” Hubby’s the religion and holidays guy, though, and this is his first holiday season with us after two Christmases deployed. I’m happy to do it his way!
I read a blog recently from someone who was questioning how to deal with Santa when raising her kids. She decided that they would not say he wasn’t real until their kids ask, and that they wouldn’t lie. She wanted to paint Santa more as the spirit of Christmas and show her kids how to help others during that time by doing some special volunteering etc. I think we’ll kinda do that.
Rachael´s last blog post..Contest!
Oh man, I feel you so much right now. My “fuck santa” post spawned all kinds of talk of “believing in magic”, “Christmas spirit”, “killing childhood innocent”, “bitch your gonna burn in hell so keep your kids away from mine” blah blah blah. Not to mention the “yes he is real” posts that followed in response. Santa is NOT the reason for the season and its the adults who are the ones who have the hardest time wrapping their heads around this.
Now, just the mere mention of HIM makes me wanna scream. I think I’m gonna have to give one last fuck you to Santa by showing he actually has a Fuck You Fan Club.
I wasn’t raised believing in Santa, nor do I plan on feeding that BS to my kids. I’m not sure how much my fiancee cares about it. I know he isn’t too adamant about Santa, but he is a bit more about Sinterklaas (Belgian version of Saint Nick).
However he is an atheist and I plan on playing the “Sinterklaas is the same lie as god” card when it comes time to have holidays with kids.
So yeah, Fuck Santa. If there’s a club, I’m in.
Lilacspecs´s last blog post..A Little Too Ironic, Yeah I Really Do Think
Well, for me the Santa myth is more of a fantasy that I don’t mind keeping alive for the kids. I never believed in Santa while growing up (good luck finding an ASIAN Santa LOL), and there’s a part of me that wishes that I had. There’s enough crap in this lifetime that to have a happy, mythical figure for them to think about when they’re young, somebody/ something that brings some extra joy into their lives, well, I don’t consider that necessarily bad thing. So I’m lying to them, so be it, they’ll be smart enough to figure it out and then appreciate that they got extra Christmas loot out of the deal.
And it gives me a bit of an edge sometimes to get them to behave around the holidays. They do want to stay on the “nice” list, right?
Honestly, I think the boy has known for at least a couple of years but won’t say anything until his sister figures it out. He was about 5 when he told me that the Santas in the malls and Christmas parties weren’t the real Santa, as the real Santa was too busy to do speaking engagements. They were just his reps.
Maria, have a wonderful holiday with your girls and family.
Karen MEG´s last blog post..1234
We’ve considered telling the truth, but they believe so we go with the whole “he’s in your heart” stuff. It makes our kids happy, so we keep telling the story. Just recently they read the story of Saint Nicholas and enjoyed it very much. I think it might have tied it together for Mikey, who is ten.
I do get where you are coming from with this post and your attitude about it all, Mama.
SECRET AGENT MAMA´s last blog post..Naturally Unhurried
Regardless of what I tell my kids, I think it’s awesome that you don’t tell your kids stories.
I can’t believe people are shocked that she says he’s not real.
There is just too much judgment on things that are no one else’s business going on.
Happy Holidays!
Betsey´s last blog post..My Super Excellent Holiday Post!
I allow the boys to believe in Santa.. But your post really isn’t a debate on if you should or shouldn’t.. Your doing what is right for you and your girls.. No one has the right to make them feel like purple aliens.. Having said that..people do not know how to keep their opinions to themselves.. Bella’s answers were real, and honest.. What more can you ask for from a child?
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@Kim:
This is definitely not a post about children believing in Santa – you’re exactly right. It’s simply a rant about the fact that it’s almost unheard of for children not to believe, the way people react to it, and vaguely, my wish that there were a few shows on Nick Jr. that either didn’t talk about Santa Clause at all, or told the truth. For the kids like mine. :)
I can’t even adequately describe how these people looked at Bella. It was just disgusting to me. I’m glad they both let it go pretty easily though. Not really into public altercations about Santa Clause. *lol*
I laughed at this post. Just yesterday I was saying to my husband that I couldn’t remember a time when I *did* believe in Santa Claus. There were too many older kids in the neighbourhood I think to allow that to happen.
We’ve told Nate about Santa, but he seems to care less. He’s not a very materialistic kid, so for him, it’s just another weird story the grownups in his life go on about! ;)
Mandy´s last blog post..Winter Wonderland
Personally I’m into brainwashing my kids with the original Grinch animated movie….Maybe Christmas, the Grinch thought, doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas, he thought, means a little bit more.
But whatever works for your family. I agree that others shouldn’t judge. I mean, if you were Jewish there’d be no rolled eyes at all.
Happy Holidays!
Prefers Her Fantasy Life´s last blog post..A Mostfina Christmas
I DO tell my kid there’s a Santa. I grew up with it and I’m going to tell him the same thing. Your children are YOURS and you can tell them whatever you want to raise them as you like. They’re YOUR kids. And I’m not bashing you. But I do have a question. Do you get offended if people wish you a Merry Christmas? I was just wondering. Some people take offense while others don’t mind at all. I’m just curious. And I’m wishing you a happy day whatever you believe in. Love ya!
I have a friend who refuses to even broach the topic of religion with her kids. She just finds that it is such extra curricular that it isn’t even worthy of a topic. It makes perfect sense to her and her husband. Kinda like the way I will probably never think to talk about The Russian Mob with my kids.
But imagine the wheels spinning while on a field trip her daughter works up the courage to ask why ‘all these buildings have a lower case “t” on them?’
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@Tiffany:
That’s the thing I can’t stand though – the rest of the world completely caters to you and your kids because you believe. Kids that don’t believe – I hate that there’s no where you can go to escape Santa. What about the realists?? It’s DISCRIMINATION I TELL YA! And no, I don’t get offended at all. Merry Christmas Tiff!
My kids have known the truth for a few years now, but they still love playing the game.
Loved the video.
April´s last blog post..Weekend Wrap-Up
It is amazing what people who don’t know you will decide is within their rights to question you on. You’re the parent, it’s your call. End. dot. period.
Tara R.´s last blog post..Random Wednesday ~ Christmas Eve!
I say do what you like. My kids found out pretty early Santa was NOT real, and I was perfectly okay with it, since it was because of my profound inability to keep secrets.
(That episode of the boondocks makes me laugh so hard I snot)
I can see how people find it jarring, because it is such a prevalent holiday thing. But what’s the difference between the way you raise your kids and how people with non-christian religious beliefs raise their kids? I don’t understand why everyone feels the need to voice their assumptions–putting others in completely awkward positions.
We’ll do the Santa thing with S and MJ, not because I feel obligated to but because I’m a huge goober for that sort of thing. But if they’re anything like me they’ll figure the ruse out pretty early on.
To me, this is no different than people giving me crap because we don’t believe in God. Same sort of purple-eyed-alien stare, same irrational feeling that I must reassure people that we’re not pure evil.
Merry Christmas, Maria!
Oh man, the terror people have when they find out your kids don’t believe in Santa. It’s crazy! I was raised knowing he wasn’t real, and it was such a non-issue to me as a kid. My own kids know he’s just a fun story, and so far neither have become immoral lunatics for it. Eh.
What do you mean he is not real? The kids and I are tracking his every move on google maps right now. http://www.noradsanta.org/en/home.html
He is in Pakistan. LOL!
Have a very merry Christmas and hug those sweet girls from me.
Merry Christmas, Maria! Hope you all have a fabulous one.
tracey´s last blog post..Last minute letter to Santa…
I may not agree with you on this, but I respect the hell out of you and I get where you’re coming from.
We may handle this thing differently and see it differently, but I still loves ya, respect ya and send you tons of hugs and Christmas wishes.
I hope it’s a wonderful one for you and the girls.
And I agree that it’s ludicrous for you and the girls to get dirty looks or have people stare at you like y’all are aliens. That’s silly.
Rachel´s last blog post..Carrots, Reindeer and Icy Rooftops: The Christmas Eve Story
Wow, it’s refreshing to hear someone say it. As a Christian, I feel like I really am lying to them if I told them there was a santa. Every person who says it’s not lying is lying to themselves or being selfish. Kids aren’t missing anything by not “believing” in Santa. The parents are the ones missing out on the “experience” for them.
Stephanie´s last blog post..Sour much?
I don’t agree with you on this, but the world would be a very boring place if we all thought the same way, wouldn’t it?
There are people out there who will judge you no matter what– if you let your kids believe in Santa or if you don’t, if you believe in God or if you don’t, if you wipe your ass or if you don’t. Do what you want– what YOU FEEL is best for your girls– and make no apologies.
Miss ya!
Kristie´s last blog post..Better Things
We are not telling the santa lie to our kids (oldest being 2 and a half) just as we are not telling them the Jesus/Christian or any religious lie. However, we do want them to be educated to understand the jist of all of it…and to the enjoy any of it as they like. I definitely think it is great for kids (who become adults) to be able to have a conversation about Christianity or even just be able to understand a reference to Moses and the Arc for instance….its all just education…learning about the world and its myths etc. And of course if someday they decide to pursue a religious spirituality I will support if not agree with them.
Great post! I dont feel the rage of fuck santa…its more like fuck you christmas.
Paula´s last blog post..Ode of Thankfulness
I’m with you there. I have no plan to tell my 2 yo there’s a Santa. I bought those gifts for you. I love you. Those other parents lie.
I’m looking forward to the day she’s as old as your daughter and can speak for herself.. :)
Diana´s last blog post..More gifts…
What I think is weird is how they all assume you even celebrate Christmas! I generally avoid making blunders like that because I don’t assume anything about people I don’t know, personally!
I’m with Sybil Law, that was the first thing I was thinking. But you know what? Those same people would probably give you the same looks if you responded “We’re Jewish/Muslim/Jehova’s Witnesses/Whatever.” Because people are judgmental bastards.
BTW-We do the whole Santa thing, more out of generational habit than anything.
Honeybell´s last blog post..More About My Nutcake Neighbors
I was going to do a Santa rant this year too, but life got in the way so I’m saving it for next year. I actually had someone “in jest” (not really) tell me they wouldn’t let their kid hang out with my kid during the holiday season because I don’t lie to her. People are crazy over the whole Santa thing. IMO, it’s just prep for getting kids to believe in god, and since I’m not doing that either… Luckily, we haven’t had to address the whole “Santa” thing since Peanut hates him anyway. She’s fine with him as a toy, but she has no desire to sit in some strange dude’s lap.
I know the reaction you’re talking about too. The look on their faces is something between dismay and pity (which really ticks me off).
I think your daughter’s responses were wonderful and sweet.
Michelle´s last blog post..Chanukah V: Christmas Edition!
And here I sit with an eleven year old who still believes in Santa and the Easter Bunny. Could your daughter come over and break it to her so I can stop keeping the dream alive?
crazymumma´s last blog post..
My daughter’s uncle asked her what Santa had brought her for Christmas. She replied “Nothing… Daddy brought it” Priceless LOL
My kids do believe in Santa and I’m ok with that if they’re comfortable with it. But we don’t do the whole ’scaring them into being good’ thing. In the end you have to do what’s right for your kids and it’s bad that people can’t accept that or make a judgement of your parenting. The Bella is a gorgeous happy little kid. Who could wish for more?
Jo Beaufoix´s last blog post..Take me to your leader
I grew up without Santa. My mom never told us that Santa was real. However, my husband grew up with Santa. So I let him tell Allie that Santa is real as long as he does all of the Santa like stuff.
Amanda of Shamelessly Sassy´s last blog post..Shameless Confessions: Perez Hilton is my Home Page.
I learned that there was no Santa from my father’s ex-wife, on Christmas morning when I was 5 (my parents hadn’t labeled any gifts from him anyway). I wasn’t exactly devastated, it was all part and parcel of a childhood devoid of any magic and protection from the adult world. I grew up watching R rated, sexy and violent movies, hearing filthy language and parents cuss each other out and relatives tell lewd jokes in front of the kids while allowing us to sip from their drinks until we got sick and puked. I grew up seeing everything that went on behind the scenes- and much of it was not pretty. So- “truth” was doled out in abundance in my house. I grew up to be a normal, functional adult (more or less). I also learned that childhood is brief and I would not have minded one little bit if mine had included some fantasy and magic and sheltering from the harsh truths for at least a little bit. My kids have kick-ass Santas, Easter Bunnies and Tooth-Fairies- and truthfully, they know that it is me and that it is an expression of my love for them- I want them to have fun and magical memories and I will teach them all they need to know about the “real stuff” when the time comes.
That being said, your kids, your rules- everyone else’s opinion, unless you are harming your kids, doesn’t matter-
Margie´s last blog post..We’re probably not going to take it, thank you anyway.
My kids do believe in Santa…and it was great, for a while. But my oldest is now almost 11 and still believes. What the hell? It’s cute and all…but when he tells me he’s going to ask Santa for a dirtbike because we won’t get him one…well bucko, now we have a problem. :)
Your kids are yours, raise them the way you like. They’re gorgeous and intelligent and kind…obviously, you’re doing something right.
Shannon´s last blog post..The story of the turd-filled hallway
I always told my kids Santa wasn’t real. But dad, gramma, aunties, etc told them I was lying and there WAS indeed a Santa. So then I told them that daddy was Santa and shhhhh don’t tell anybody because nobody knows. And if you did tell them, they would just say it wasn’t true because they didn’t know any better.
so we shared this secret amongst each other until THIS year, when I finally sat them down and told them the REAL story of Saint Nick and how we are ALL Santa now because we follow the tradition of giving to the less fortunate every winter, etc…
Anyways… I feel yah. I thought it was bullshit that my relatives would go behind my back and do that to my kids and call me a liar just because of their need to bring the “magic” (translation=LIE) into my kids life.. but for the sake of keeping the peace amongst family I chose to handle it the way I did.
I also told them that I was the tooth fairy.
oh my holy gosh … thank you! I thought I was the only person in the entire freaking universe that did not lie to her children about Santa frickin’ Claus. Fortunately for me, my daughters are now nearly grown and I do not have to be chided on a yearly basis because of my non santa believing children. At about age 3 my oldest says to me, “mom is santa real” I figure if she asked then she has doubts, so I say, NO he isn’t. I don’t remember her younger sister ever believing in Santa, but you would have thought I had said “Santa is a big fat liar and you will never get any presents again your entire life” according to the more traditional mom’s I knew. You see my biggest dilema was this, I was a single mom for years and I was just pretty much sick of the fat man getting all the cred for my hard work. Plus I just find it wrong in general to lie to my children. Thus, we don’t and haven’t for years participated in the Santa phenom. I actually find it kind of liberating.
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