Immoral Parenting: Heaven & Hell
After watching All Dogs Go To Heaven:
Bella: Mommy, are we going to heaven when we die too?
Me: No, you’re going in the ground.
Bella: So only dogs get to go?
Me: Well, some people believe that heaven is a place you go to after you die. But, even if you do, you go in the ground first, unless they burn you up and sprinkle you somewhere, or keep you in a box. And dogs don’t really go to heaven.
Bella: Why not?
Me: Well, heaven is not really a place for us as we are – it’s for something that some people think is inside of us, called our souls. Something that people think is the most important part of us. Animals don’t have those.They don’t have the kind that gets to go to heaven, at least.
Bella: But why do people think when you die you go to heaven?
Me: Some people, like grandma and papa think that there is someone up in the sky called God. And if we do everything that God wants us to do, when we die, or if he comes back to Earth before we die, he’ll take us up to live with him, and he lives in heaven, for 1000 years or something like that, and then we’ll come back to Earth to live for eternity after God kills everyone that didn’t do what he told them to do. But, if you’re dead, you stay dead, and your soul sleeps until he brings you back from the dead.
Bella: Like Smitty Wednesdaybum on Spongebob?
Me: Kinda.
Bella: Well that’s just craaaaaaaaaaazzzzzzzyyyyyyyyy!
Me: Heh. Some people don’t think so.
Bella: Do you think so?
Me: I don’t know if I think it’s crazy. I think it’s probably not true. But I used to think it was.
Bella: Why did you used to?
Me: Because that’s what Grandma and Papa told me. And the people at church told me. And they were grownups, and I thought they were right.
Bella: Well I think zombies living in the sky is craazzzyyyy!
Me: Well, don’t tell Grandma and Papa that.
Bella: Why?
Me: That’d be rude.
Bella: But can I tell Goobie?
Me: Sure.
Bella: Mommy, mommy? Why does God kill people that don’t listen?
Me: As punishment. He tortures and burns them first.
Bella: With fire??!!
Me: Yes. A special fire that lasts a very long time.
Bella: Well, when I don’t listen, I get time out. You wouldn’t kill me! Would you?
Me: Of course not.
Bella: Well, I don’t think that’s a good way to punish people. That’s really mean.
Me: I think so too, love.
Bella: So why do people want to be dead and live with somebody that’s so mean?
Me: I dunno. But, you have to remember that not everyone wants that. Some people think we come back to life as different things like animals or other people. But it doesn’t matter to me. I don’t think God is real.
Bella: Me neither. I think he’s like the fairy Nejla told me would go under my pillow and get my teeth when they fall out when I get big. That’s not real. Me neither.
Me: I think you’re right. But, no one really knows. I guess we won’t know for sure until we die.
Bella: No. Not until we die.
And with that, she ran off to play.
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*sigh*
PS. I’m sorry about your key cover. Hee.
This is a subject I struggle with, as someone who doesn’t believe…
and with that, I’ll shut up, because I had a long tangent written here that I’m not sure is appropriate to the entry.
Well… when you put it that way it all makes sense. “Well I think zombies living in the sky is craazzzyyyy!” :D
I’m still undecided about a lot of things in this discussion with myself. Your kids are probably going to be so much more grounded than kids from my generation.
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Sounds a lot like our discussions.
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@Tara R.:
My main struggle with talking to Bella about God/Heaven & Hell/whatever is trying to make sure I don’t convince her of anything, either way. I want her and her sister to be able to make their own decisions on this subject, and also be respectful of differing opinions on it. It’s hard, but I’m trying. Although sometimes, when she says things like what you quoted? I’m like ‘well, maybe you’re gonna do ok kid.’ *lol*
But it’s good that you’re willing to talk about it in the first place, having your own concepts already wired into place. I want to leave Isobel her own thoughts and beliefs, her father wants to raise a hard-core aetheist – it’s a tough situation, to think of having this or a similar conversation with her, knowing it might just be easier to avoid the whole subject.
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Straight from the mouth of babes.
Deep Thoughts by The Bella.
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Luckily, we have not had the conversation. I don’t know what I wold have said.
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That’s such a hard line to walk – not wanting to push your own beliefs onto your child, but having to answer their questions. I think it’s inevitable (as is shown here) that our own ideas will color the conversations a little bit.
BUT, I also think it’s inevitable that the idea of openness, tolerance, and free thinking will make an impression as well.
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I don’t know if I could be as neutral about the possibility of god as you are…
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I wish I was able to explain things to my son like you do with Bella. We recently lost a cat and he saw him being buried. The next day he told me he had a dream about the cat coming out of the dirt – and then a few days later asked if cats can breathe in dirt.
I really did not explain these things to him as eloquently as you do. I was at a loss.
Can you come over?
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I have to say I wouldn’t know where to go on this conversation
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“Well I think zombies living in the sky is craazzzyyyy!”
That’s the most accurate things anyone could say about Heaven. LOL Love it!
OMG (pun intended)! This was funny.
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While I don’t necessarily believe what you believe on the God/Heaven thing, I think it’s GREAT that you explain different ideas and aren’t trying to force her in any one direction. All the while, keeping it serious and yet on a level she understands. Great job, I hope I do this good with the more serious types of talks – but right now i’m happy with trying to convince Lorelei to bring me back the diaper wipes she just emptied from the box…
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Hi Maria!
On a totally unrelated stream of thought: I passed on an award to you. All the sordid details are in my blog. :)
Hugs!
Burn
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You handled that pretty well. When my niece asks me about God and whatever I usually change the topic because I don’t know what to say.
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Wow. Not quite casual conversation, huh?
When our dog died and I discussed souls and heaven with my son, he asked me what the soul looked like. I threw the question back at him and he said: “mine looks like a pickle”. And then he went to sleep. Kids are too damn funny.
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Nicely done, Maria.
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she’s amazing.
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What a great post. I just love your honesty.
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Boo is constantly freaking out his RE teacher (Religious Education) cause his literal mind cannot comprehend the things she is saying. As an agnostic it cracks my shit up.
The other day they did a play. The Nativity scene. Boo was one of the Wise Men. Well that is what he was supposed to be, he spent the whole time running around squealing ‘I am the King of the Jews!!!!!’
Bwaaaaa haaaa haaaaaaaa!
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One of my girlfriends referred to me as a Cafeteria Catholic. I kinda like the term. You pick and choose what sounds right for you. As for my kids, I try to keep it open to them as well. I think the best thing you can do is share your traditions and make sure they know you have an open mind, and they should as well.
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thats funny, my three year old is in the why stage? by t5hat i mean she wil ask me a question and follow it up by five whys in a row lol i second that emotion
i’m so not ready to discuss heaven with my kids yet.
when my grandfather died, emily was 2 and decided that all dead people went to Cleveland, since that’s where he was from. i was perfectly happy with that answer at the time. heh.
LOL… Smart kid!!! Kids really do say the darnedest things
I wonder how many lives would be different if all parents allowed their children to decide their own religious belief system?
*lightbulb*
Thanks, Maria & Bella! I think you just gave me the idea to my next short story ;-D
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We have only begun to have these kind of discussions with my little girl. I am sure that it will ramp up, especially with holidays here now. I am impressed with the way you handle it, without judgment for those who believe, yet clear on your own belief (or non-beliefs, as it were). Great post!
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You did great Maria. Tough conversation, but you left it so open for your girl. Hard to do.
Zombies in the sky, that is crazy!! What a funny smart little girl you have there :)
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I love how kids just take things in, process it and move on. So cute.
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I guess we’ll have to cross this bridge eventually. I’m an atheist who managed to raise a theist sister, since she never asked me what I believed. I suspect my kids will be more questioning … since my husband’s the Catholic one, I *could* just say “Ask Dad”, but that’s kind of a cop-out.
I *wish* I could respond as you did, but I agreed to raise the girls Catholic until they’re old enough to choose for themselves.
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I liked how you were so honest with your daughter and told her what you thought and what your parents thoughts. I believe that one of the best gift you can give kids is honesty because it frees up so much for them to explore without guilt and then they can come to conclusions on their own.
Ciao
Anita
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Upon leaving Catholic school last night (long story – not Catholic) my son engaged in an argument with my daughter about the existence of god and the probability that Jesus was NOT his son. I hushed them and said, bite your tongue ’til highschool, K? Or atleast ’til we get home! They were both arguing the same side, against.
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“Well, when I don’t listen, I get time out. You wouldn’t kill me! Would you?” Hahaha.
I love your honesty!!
It’s one thing to tell your kids there’s no God, but confirm there’s NO TOOTH FAIRY?? WTF?! hahaha Guess you’ll be saving some money there. Inflation is really bankrupting the tooth fairy, I tell ya.
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I am positive I will pee myself the first time something like this comes up. I’ll bookmark this for future reference. In fact, I may read straight from it when the topic finally comes up.
I’m making a mental note right now that All Dogs Go To Heaven will not be on my child’s viewing list.
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Favorite line of hers: “Well I think zombies living in the sky is craazzzyyyy!”
Favorite line of yours: “if you’re dead, you stay dead, and your soul sleeps until he brings you back from the dead.”
Out of the mouth of babes. And I’m referring to you, of course.
Catechizer strikes yet again!
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I’ve had similar conversations with the Baby Twinkies and the interesting part of all of it is the differences in opinions carry on from this age forward.
For example, the one baby T took my explanation for what it’s worth. It made sense to him, therefore he quickly agreed.
The other baby T questioned me some more. We finally finished the conversation with:
Me: Do YOU believe in heaven?
Baby T: yes
Me: Then that’s all that matters.
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one day we were in the car and daughter (who goes to a church sponsored school because it’s close by) says ‘you don’t even believe in jesus, do you’
i said ‘look, i got this from my own mother, i’m not takin’ it from you too, you’re grounded. where’s your jesus now?’
kidding. i said ‘of course i believe in jesus. he was the main character in the bible’s second edition, wasn’t he?’
still kidding. i actually said i believed in something, but it wasn’t exactly what the school taught her, and that it was her choice to believe what she wanted to. this was much less funny than the things i *wanted* to say.
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I really enjoy reading your parenting dialogs here. Just stumbled across your site and wanted to say it is very encouraging to me as a newish parent (1.5 year old) to hear honest conversations from other parents. Keep writing.
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