This is a Public Service Announcement:
There is not a woman on Earth with so many children that she can’t find time to take a shower. It’s just not possible. Even if it was just a quickie – a wash the vitals and be out sort of thing, it would be a shower. And it would take less than 5 minutes. So when they claim that the 6 month old kept them so busy today that they didn’t have time? Pssshaaaw. Lie! That baby takes TWO naps a day! She’s lying! Don’t fall for it! She just didn’t want to take a shower.
And oooo you naughty bloggy lyin’ ass mommies. If your baby keeps you *that* busy then take away blog time and devote it to soap and water time.
I have two. Twenty-two months apart, the youngest being two. I make breakfast and dinner full-out-made -from-scratch meals on most days. They have set schedules that include play, outside, quiet/nap, learning and tv time, and I have a blog and I have errands I run and shit I do but damnitt I’m NEVER so busy that I can’t find a couple of minutes in a 24 hr. period to run some water between my ass cheeks.
I didn’t take a shower today. I didn’t feel like it. I haven’t sweat, had sex [goddamnitt!!!!!!], gone outside or done anything else that could get me remotely dirty so yes, I am not only showerless today – but I am in the same clothes I had on yesterday. It’s not my kids fault. They have nothing to do with it. I didn’t take one simply because I ain’t fuckin’ feel like it.
Just like you lyin’ ass mommies.
So there. I busted your bubbles. Keep your husbands away from this blog if you want to maintain that big ol’ fat fabrication!! I speak the truth and you know it!! HA!
And have you entered my giveaway for a $50 gift certificate to Good for the Kids today? Go. Now. Do it.
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HAH!
you speak the truth. The God’s honest truth.
The latest from Stella-Mountain Momma…Riding the Roller Coaster Barefoot
you…are so funny…and right. if you can’t shower during the day…shower at night when the kids are sleeping. i do. it works out very nicely. my husband doesn’t mind the nighttime showers either. that works out very nicely too…except on this little vacation that i’m on…
xoxo
The latest from melissa…A Little Equation…
THANK YOU! I remember vividly when I put the munchkin in a bouncy, put her in the bathroom with me while I washed my road ass. Some things just can’t be ignored, showers being one of them. That baby don’t want a funky momma.
The latest from Elaine…So Random Its Organized.
What I like about you is that you are honest, and you SEEK truth. BTW, I never lie or make excuses about not taking a shower now and then. Sometimes, you just need to be lazy!
The latest from Half-Past Kissin’ Time…Body, Heal Thyself!
This is me, laughing my ass off. You are TOTALLY right. :)
The latest from Mr Lady…It’s About Damn Time
August 20, 2008 at 12:47 am
I’m the only one, I think, that’s going to disagree. I’m almost at the point now where I can consider leaving Isobel to watch a movie while I hop in the tub for a bath (the sound of the shower freaks her the eff out=screaming). But she’s still freaky with the Jackass-wannabe moves.
Other than that, my times are only when she’s out of the house with JDawg (which I use) and when she’s knocked the eff out cold. I have the lightest sleeper in the world, so the times when she’s knocked right out tend to be about two hours after she falls asleep until about one before she wakes up.
Plus my building has like, NO hot water in the mornings.
See? I have every excuse in the book, dood.
The latest from Zoeyjane…On being me, myself and I
August 20, 2008 at 9:56 am
You get a pass. I believe you. But I still think it’s a big ol’ fat LIE that most mothers tell!
:8
I disagree with the OP in a way. Everyone creates their own reality and I think that there are many mothers (okay, mostly white mothers. don’t smack me Maria.) who’s reality includes the notion that they can somehow insulate their children from anything and everything in this world.
I am not one of those mothers. I wash mah ass and leave that kid in the crib for a quick twenty :D
The latest from illegitimateAngel…"You never had game, you were just a slut"
Sex is good. I highly recommend it. Showers a plus. Just avoid leather furniture.
The latest from JCK…Leather. Furniture. Instant. Inflamed. Reaction. In. Men.
*snort* Do people still use this excuse? (With the exception of Z) :)
The latest from Miss…Home
Haha! I used to just bring my kids in the shower or bath with me, even when they were tiny. I thought about making myself a mesh sling for the shower and pool, but WHO HAS TIME with little babies everywhere?
The latest from jenijen…Rainy day
i used to put my oldest in a johnny jump-up and hang him in the doorway of the bathroom. he bounced. i washed.
perfect.
The latest from the planet of janet…You don’t have to be blond to be "BLOND"
so funny and right on. come on, what kind of excuse is that for not bathing?? It´s your kids fault….puuuuleeeaaase.
The latest from Bluestreak…The Olympics bores me to tears. Come on, world, let´s do something I care about.
Ahh I’m laughing my ass off, but it’s so damn true!!
Put the baby in an exersaucer while you shower, bouncy chair, swing. Geez. There are ways!
The latest from Jenn…Nick/Nick Jr. Surveys
I usually just lurk on your site, but definitely had to comment today – this is one of my pet peeves! I have 3 little ones, the oldest is 6, the middle one is very special needs and the youngest is now 3. And I have NEVER had a day where I couldn’t take a shower. So I never understood people who claim they can’t! My youngest went through a phase where she cried like crazy when I got in the shower. I would bring her in the bathroom to play, and she would go nutso when the shower curtain closed. Yes, I felt horrible, I sang, I kept talking to her, but nothing worked. So I just took my shower in about 1.2 minutes and was done. And she survived and didn’t have any permanent damage from this “trauma”.
Yeah, I SO do not get this!!!!
The latest from Irene…We interrupt this blog…
August 20, 2008 at 10:01 am
Mine did that too! Isabella would stand at the shower curtain, constantly pulling it back and sobbing when she was a baby, and then she’d get even more pissed when she’d get wet.
I went and bought a clear shower curtain just for her and it didn’t work. Eventually I just said fuck it, and would sing loudly over her cries. I’m so mean. *lol* But it was around the time that I mastered the 2 minute shower [6 on days I wash my hair].
And I’m glad you came out of lurkerdom! Happy to see you here. :)
My mom had six kids that were 8 and under at one point and she never had to skip showers. I’m sure there were times when she had to drag a kid (or two) in with her, but you do what you gotta do.
I can’t believe there are moms who actually say that!!
The latest from Jen @ The Cubicle’s Backporch…PiF Giveaway! A (Free!) Venus Embrace Razor Kit!
This post is great. And to be honest, I don’t always shower every day and I don’t even have kids. I’m either too lazy or there are spiders in the shower and my bf isn’t around to get them out.
Gawd Maria, there you go blowing my cover!
Next you’re gonna say I should be cleaning and shit!
So true! I just laid my babies on the bath mat. It’s not like they’re going anywhere.
The latest from Shania…Doctor, Doctor, Gimme the news
I would love to know what brought this on. Too freaking funny!
No there may not be time to wash and style your hair but there is always time to wash your junk.
The latest from Betsey…Just So You Know…
August 20, 2008 at 9:45 am
We speak your NAME.
Out ‘em all!
I try to average 6-7 showers a week. Some days, I don’t feel like it b/c like you said, no dirt/no sex/no sweat.
The latest from A Whole Lot of Hooch…Wordless 8.20.8: Let Them Eat Cake for No Reason
Home cooked meals from scratch? Yeah..I can’t do that.. but shower daily.. done!
The latest from Kim…Doctor office visits are not good for your health or wrinkles
I can get a shower now, but for the first few months, I had to get really creative. We co-slept for the first few months, so she refused to stop screaming unless I laid beside her, except for the few times she just got so exhausted she passed out. Once she got older (around 4-5 months), she chilled out alot. I remember having to scoot the bouncer and/or her swing into the bathroom. Even then, I only had 5 min top. In the first few months, I took to bathing with the baby once “daddy” got home. I didn’t trust myself at first to get me and a slippery baby out of the tub, but I proved I could do it later. Now, she takes showers. With me. And, if I want a kidless shower, I generally wait til her bedtime (bc I can). But, I agree…MOST of the time, the excuse is used, but the truth is that sometimes we are too tired to take one and would rather sleep during their few naptimes – or have deadlines to meet for our work. And, sometimes we forget…kinda like I forget to eat and then get caught up with something else.
I think, for a lot of moms, they don’t mean it to be a lie. They FEEL busy and overwhelmed…so, for them it is their truth, because it’s how they feel. Ya know?
The latest from Ashley…Montessori Madness
Ooo, I would love to know what (who) inspired this post!
The latest from Mama Zen…First Day Of Kindergarten
LMAO. I was never ever too busy being a working mom to not take a shower. You tell em girl!
The latest from Tiffany…Telemarketers
There are days when I’ve said that I was too busy with the kids to shower. Call me a lying ass mommy if you want but when they were napping I chose to eat or try to sleep (after an all nighter of puke/pee/sickness or whatever). So I guess I COULD have snuck in a shower but I prioritized. Eating and sleeping always trump a shower in my mind. I guess I’m just filthy like that. ;)
The latest from Kathryn…WW- What Happens…
I agree. Even with a two-day old, I showered. I am a freak about showering though and the last time I went a day without a shower was in 1999 on my first (and last) camping trip. Even in my sleep-deprived new mom hormonal monster stage, I gave up 15 minutes of sleep in order to shower. Showering for me is a requisite for feeling human.
The latest from donna…Liberated!
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