Seriously. I can. It’s always been that way. Sex has never been all that enjoyable to me. Maybe they weren’t big enough or good enough or whatever enough, but it’s never been something that I neeeeded to have. Sometimes I want it really badly, and I get it, but maybe I’ve just been with one man too long because I can easily go without. Not saying that he wasn’t any good – he wasn’t really any better or worse than most that I’d fucked before, but blah. That’s sex to me = Blah.
I’m a quickster. I don’t like long fuck sessions. That’s boring. After I’m done, you need to be too, pretty soon. I’ve only had one guy last more than 10 minutes with me, so it seems like it shouldn’t be a problem, right? Well it is! I’m only into it for about 5 minutes, if that. Then I’m ready for it to be over. Seriously, like get the fuck off me. I’m DONE with this. An emotional connection can extend that time table a bit, but just a bit. It’ll get you another 1-3 minutes of ‘oh I love him and I love having him inside of me‘ but that’s it and it’s only good for the first few times.
Now there have been exceptions: there are situations I could detail in which I wanted it to last longer, or it was pretty good and I realllyyy needddddeeddd it, but there’s like only one instance of each. This all might stem from the fact that I’m one of those women that can only come from clitoral stimulation. And it has to be a very particular motion and amount of pressure or else it’s just irritating. I have a very fickle vagina.
I’m a masturbator. Can’t help it, it’s what I am. I’m a late-night-redtube/xporn/xtube/youporn.com-vibrator-hiding-masturbator. I think I always will be. They just can’t do it like I can. I have it in my head though that Carey Hart and Gerard Butler and Jonathan Rhys-Meyers could all make me lose my mind. That they all fuck very differently but very well. Carey’s a mixture between sweet and slow/fast and hard, Gerard’s very hard but can be fast or slow and is always intune with what his partner wants and Jonathan’s always in control and doing whatever the hell he wants but he’s excellent at it so it doesn’t matter. I obviously need to fuck them in order to experience that hyper orgasmic bliss that I read about. Heh. Besides them, there is probably no one in the world that can give me that experience and thusly, I’ll never get it. *cries*
I really want to be a whore (and I use that term as a term of endearment because I don’t believe in looking down on men or women because they’ve gotten more action than me). I want to go out and fuck everything with a pretty face and a penis until I find one that fits – to prove myself wrong when I say that I’m just not one of those people that will ever be obsessed with getting laid. Bah. It’s alright. I’m cool with my fingers and my mechanical goodies.
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Ahh… Carey Hart… Yum. I COULD go meet him probably anytime I wanted to, since I am just about 3 miles from his tattoo shop and I do need a new tattoo.. just saying.
I’d do him. In a heartbeat, no matter that he is Pinks ex-husband, no matter that he doesn’t know how to ink only owns his own shop and has more tat’s than I have. No matter, I’m no longer young and thin… I’d do him if he gave me half a moment and yep, that’s probably all I’d need, not much different than you, even if it WAS Carey Hart.
Hmm..I do have a party to go to at the Palms Hotel next Tuesday and his shop just happens to be at the Palms Hotel. Now, look what you’ve done. I’ll be obsessing.. err thinking about this for the next week!!! I wonder if I have the balls to go to the shop and see if he is there…
I’ll let you know next Weds. ;)
“I’m a late-night-redtube/xporn/xtube/youporn.com-vibrator-hiding-masturbator.”
I thought I was the only one. Thank God you are woman enough to say it. So that I may piggy-back!
SECRET AGENT MAMA´s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: It’s a Summer Day
December 10, 2008 at 12:44 am
Thank you for writing this on my birthday. Sex posts are like, the best present, ever.
Zoeyjane´s last blog post..On Kinky and Straight
Hahahaha gawd I love you so much. We are so alike. At least when it comes to the porn. I love me some good, long, sex. Multiple times. Shit… look what you are doing to me.
And yet, I cant help but feel as if I have some sort of OBLIGATION now… just to prove SOMETHING to you…
Miss´s last blog post..I’m in love
I definitely know what you mean, but dammit – when you get that mind blowing sex, it is so, sooo addictive. Longest sex I ever had was 4 hours. 4 hours! And it was GOOD the ENTIRE time!
However, if it’s only so-so, 10 minutes is plenty. okaythanksgetoffnowmotherfucker.
I wouldn’t mind being a whore, too.
Maybe at blogher we can whore around. Haha!
:D
I’m so not a just-a-clit orgasm kind of girl. I knew that before, but the point was driven home (that pun was really not intended. I need help for that) by the fact that I saw that thing on your review blog and thought “what the fuck is THAT going to do for me???”.
illegitimateAngel´s last blog post..Waiting for it.
Dude, Im the same way. Theres a certain way I can get off, and if you cant get it JUST right, forget it.But if you do do it that certain way, wow. And the whole session needs to be on its way to being over right after that. And I need to roll over and go to sleep. And Ive def had my whore phase (way more than I need to get into with Jer) and while theres a nice variation out there, its good to know what you want.
I’m blushing too hard to comment.
Carolyn Online´s last blog post..Don’t mess with the Fur Bus.
…
This actually sort of made me think about myself and my preferences, but I’m a bit too shy to actually spell it all out here. Maybe I’ll rent some space from you some time about it :)
Lilacspecs´s last blog post..Not Much Happening Here
Can I just say that I love you so much for giving me this to read first thing in the morning? Thank you. :)
Hilary´s last blog post..I’m almost done saying The Line
Hey, where’s the anal attachment?
Avitable´s last blog post..I obsess
Oh, this made me laugh. I like sex and all that but I have to admit, I do it better myself too. :)
sky girl´s last blog post..pissy
I feel you. Oh fuck that sounded even worse than you talking about my cupcake. LMAO I have to use my “little friends” while having sex but thankfully hubby doesn’t mind. And yea I’m with you about the not needing sex. I mean I have a good bit of it but mostly for hubby’s sake. I think I’m just a weird girl who doesn’t like sex all that much. And I need Robert Pattinson to try out to see if he could change my mind. LOL
Tiffany´s last blog post..There’s a Thief
You just became my favorite person today.
I’m always thinking ‘can we just shorten up this foreplay a little and JUST DO IT?’ Yet while I always enjoy sex, I wouldn’t be upset if I didn’t have it.
Honeybell´s last blog post..More About My Nutcake Neighbors
I often wait for my guy to leave for work in the morning before breaking out my toys. They do me much better and much faster than he can. Not that he’s bad, but I like to just get the job done and be done with it – not have to deal with all that other shit.
Great post.
kaila´s last blog post..I am a rock whore, The Great White Lizard Hunter rocks out
Oh honey. Come here and give big whore momma a hug. :)
It’s one of two things, I think. Either you find a dick or a vag that you can’t get enough of.
Or you’ll fuck any dick that moves (like me). :P
thedemigod´s last blog post..What Aussie Aminals Want for Christmas
yes, yes, yes. I totally get all of that!
April´s last blog post..Day Without a Gay
I need both. I need to be able to diddle and get fucked. And I need both quickies and longies. I just need it.
Gypsy´s last blog post..I can’t get no satisfaction
I am definitely not an expert masturbator like you are. Can’t get NEARLY the same amount of satisfaction as someone else can give me. I think it’s like not being able to tickle yourself…
Anyway. I have a huge sex drive. This has always been an issue until the past few years when my dh and I have finally found a good, common ground of need.
THANK GOD.
tracey´s last blog post..When Mama’s Away…
I have been both the type that needed it long and hard and the type that can’t be bothered with all that. Hopefully you’ll soon get your dose of the other because they are both fanfuckintastic!
You need ALL sorts!
Quick, slow, upside down, inside out. Just find the knob.
Xbox4NappyRash´s last blog post..It walks like a duck, and talks like a duck, but…
LOL, true story.
BTW mine still works. THANK GOD.
Maria´s last blog post..Roundup of Random
Yeah, I kind of agree. It’s so much less work to just do it myself, and guaranteed every time. Don’t tell my husband.
Rachael´s last blog post..Heads or Tails: Fill
This is the greatest blog post in the history of planet earth.
Black Hockey Jesus´s last blog post..Larry
I’m gonna sound like such a freakin’ sap but here it goes – I didn’t know that sex could be good until my now-husband and I got to that point. Before him, I’d only had sex with one other person and, while it wasn’t terrible, it definitely wasn’t anything to write a blog post about either, ya know?
But, my husband is more than willing to let me have whatever toys I want. Of course, either he’s just a badass or my vagina is just completely in love with him because I come every single time, many, many times. ::ahem:: So the toys are more for variety than for anything else.
I must need How to Pick Good Porn Classes because anything I’ve ever seen has just been so retarded, it doesn’t do anything for me.
Sheila (Charm School Reject)´s last blog post..Tick Tock Tick Tock
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