You’re not going to counseling this week because of schedule conflicts. But what’s transpired this morning needs to be brought up at next week’s appointment so make sure to check back to this entry before next Wednesday.
——-
You were attempting to explain the plot of of Grindhouse: Quentin Tarantino’s Death Proof to Jason as you sat in the Chik-Fil-A drive thru. He seemed to be listening to you, as much as he ever is in the beginning. Then, an alert flashed on the Sirius screen [Ringo Starr's 'Oh My My'] and he decided to turn up the radio. While you were still talking.
Of course this pisses you off and you stop talking and start looking out of the window, to which dipshit says “I turned it just a hair for The Bella, I’m still listening – keep going!“. You ignore him.
After you get your food, he drives off and attempts to justify and explain away his actions. You tell him “I’m sick of you turning the fucking radio up every time I’m fucking talking to you. Especially since I don’t talk to you that fucking much.” He asks how often he does it and you reply “All the fucking time!” and he shuts down, obviously wounded by one too many ‘fucking”s.
You get home, you fix the plates, you ignore him. And he ignores you. Until he’s walking by you and out of the door, when he says “I’ll be back in a little while.” And you continue to act like his dumb ass doesn’t exist.
Make sure to mention the good doctor that J.
a.) didn’t turn the radio back down when it obviously upset you
b.) didn’t apologize or admit wrongdoing
c.) thought that ‘just a hair’ and ‘for Bella’ was justification
d.) fled instead of talking it out, which he was instructed to do
You feel that you were disrespected, and you will not apologize for any comments you may have made under distress until he @ least acknowledges that he caused the goddamned distress in the first place.
{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }
Next Comments →
Poor Maria.
I’m so sorry darlin’.
*sigh* I have been there and left a nasty divorce in my wake. In the interest of absolute honesty, you must also tell your therapist about all the “fucking’s” and stonewalling silence emanating from your side of the room. I hate absolute honesty.
Okay, now that THAT b.s. is on the table, why do men do things like this? Isn’t it obvious after the 40th time that you are fucking up AGAIN?
oh honey…i had the same problem with my ex-husband!! i could be in the same room with him, yet i didn’t exist!! and then, when i would tell him we needed to talk…he would respond with something like “ishkabibble” or…”you just need to be licked up!” yeah…seriously, i couldn’t make that shit up!!
i have to agree with deb…they just don’t get the fact that it’s them that’s fucking up!! men suck!!
xoxo
I remember that shit. Tell him he better get his fucking act together!
Ouch! Don’t ya just love how some people can’t admit to being wrong? Or apologize? I feel for ya…
Did you marry my husband?!
Haha
Sucks, doesn’t it?
Guys are just idiots. They really are. To him, that was seriously not a big deal, I am sure. The thing that drives me nuts is that if THEY think it’s not a bog deal then they act like you are some crazy nut for getting all bent out of shape!
Fuckers.
I call that “passive-aggressive”, and I hate it.
Good luck.
I’ll probably get my head kicked in for saying this but I do that all the time… I think…
Bet he comes back with a treat or a big sheepish face by way of an apology ;-)
My hubs does that to me when we are watching TV. God forbid I ask a question while he’s entranced in a show, but he thinks nothing of regaling me, ad nauseum, of his inane soccer referee stories during something I want to watch. There can never be too many ‘fuckings.’
I only JUST got through to my husband how important it is to me to talk things out and not ignore each other or shut down when we have a problem. So, the fact that you guys are dealing with this issue now puts you way ahead of us. Marriage is really hard. The work is worth it if you have the right partner, though.
lets focus on the fact that you were eating Chick Fil A. That place rocks the house.
I’m sorry sweetie. That sucks.
This kind of shit is why I’m separated.
Pffft. Men.
My husband doesn’t hear me when the television is on. And it is on ALL the time. Assrods.
Men. are. stupid. They don’t get it.
Mine does the same thing. It infuriates me.
if you *ever* get him to talk? let me know the secret.
i’m currently undergoing a “how many days in a row will he not talk to me?” experiment. science is so much fun!
if he’s not careful he’s going to find himself on the receiving end of a different kind of experiment…
That scene sounds WAY too familiar. Trust me, you’re not alone.
Just so you know, I think you are always right and he is always wrong. That’s because I’m totally trying to score with ya. Is it working? No seriously, I’m sorry hon.
Maria, I am just excited to see you delivered in my Inbox this morning! That’s rather overshadowing your post at the moment. :P
I know you are dealing with a lot of stuff with your husband and I really, really wish it wasn’t like this. :(
I would have been pissed off when he turned up the radio to drown me out. (That’s how I would have felt too.) Still, you got quiet and he recognized that you were upset and seemingly even knew the reason why. He should have then immediately turned down the radio. Why he didn’t only leaves me to think he’s as stubborn as you are! :p (You are a stubborn one my friend.)
And it did kind of seem that he was willing to try to discuss that there may be an issue when he asked how often he does it.
You (and rightly so) were pretty upset over the fact that you were dealing with this yet again. So, maybe you reacted a little stronger than you would have if it hadn’t of just happened and you were both were just having a conversation discussing it.
You, my passionate, beautiful friend are justified in being upset. Still, I think he was trying a little. Maybe it could have turned out differently if you guys weren’t so caught up in the moment.
I wish he wasn’t a ‘leaver’. Then again you guys aren’t getting anywhere when you talk about things when you are both still angry. I wish there was a middle ground… and that he would stop being an ass.
:o)
Hm, all I can ssay is thank for reminding me again why I never want to get married again. Sometimes I think I do, but really, I just don’t have that kind of time. Bring on the friends with benefits; which, believe me, is not an easy thing for me to say!
Ugh! I’m so sorry, that sort of dirty playing in arguments drives me up the wall.
I wholeheartedly understand your response of silence. If you’re going to be ignored anyway, why bother talking. I’m not saying it’s right, but that’s the tactic I take most often too.
They just don’t get it. They just don’t fucking get it! I’m pissed just reading this so I can only imagine how you must feel. My man does things that are very similar and it takes every ounce of restraint not to clobber him. Take a deep breath girlfriend…and then go rat him out to your shrink. Bastard.
Ugh. That sucks girl, sorry to hear it.
“and he shuts down, obviously wounded by one too many ‘fucking”s.”
oooof, does that hit home.
Why have I had this exact same conversation with my Jason?
Hating that your computer is broken. I suddenly feel like I’ve found my online soul mate.
But not in a creepy stalker way.
Unless you’re into that sort of thing.
Seriously, I kid.
{ 1 trackback }