I appreciate it when people don’t sugarcoat parenting, or act like children are the holy grail and people aren’t allowed to call them on their bullshit. Sometimes, they are little fucking assholes and you want to kick them out of windows. It’s just the truth.
I love my daughters, but sometimes I really do not like them. At all. And if you’re a parent and honest with yourself, I think it’s probably the same for you. I’ve yet to meet anyone that wasn’t delusional that didn’t nod yes to that statement.
I like this guy. I’m going to see him live next month with my mother. She and I will bond over laughter at that one time a few years ago when The Bella had a black eye because she walked into a door (because she’s stupid, of course) and we took her to Chik-Fil-A, some woman felt the need to come up to her and ask “What happened to you honey!?!” right in front of our faces as if she was going to admit to being battered senseless and I said to the bitch “Seriously? Are you serious? If I hit her, she’d be a lot worse off.” while holding up my fists and showing off their massiveness and she looked at me like an insane person and walked away to call child services, I’m sure.
Good times….good times…
{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }
March 9, 2009 at 11:06 am
I just snorted tea up my nose, picturing you talking to that woman. That’s awesome.
Zoeyjane´s last blog post..On What No One Wants Me to Feel
March 9, 2009 at 11:18 am
@Zoeyjane: I didn’t do it like…threateningly! I just held them up and kind of showed her the various angles of my man hands so she’d get my point. Totally different.
*SNORT* Now what you just said to Terra, THAT I can picture. Just very matter of fact about it. And for some fucked up reason, I can imagine you tossing the little one. She’s all compact and stuff.
Miss´s last blog post..Kid-isms Part 2
Really! I always find people’s stares and comments just a little hypocritical. Would they do anything if they found out you HAD hit her? Probably not! So what do they care?
Kelly´s last blog post..Mommy’s New Tattoo
I absolutely LOVE Louis C.K. I watch Shameless and Chewed Up more frequently than I should! I think every parent ought to be exposed to his kind of honesty. It helps balance out the insanity of parenting. For me, having someone ACTUALLY SAY the things that go through my head…priceless.
I have told my own children that while I love them madly, at this moment in time I really don’t like you. True story. Any parent who says they haven’t said that, or at least felt it, is lying.
Tara R.´s last blog post..Garden state of mind
March 9, 2009 at 3:34 pm
@Tara R.: I haven’t said it to them, probably only because they’re still small. When they’re going through the terrible teens? I’m sure I will. :)
Yeah, that Louis C.K. on kids stuff is great. Seriously, I think nearly every parent resonates, even if they aren’t willing to laugh at it in public.
Ariah Fine´s last blog post..Effervescent Thursday: Diamonds, Africa and Not #1
Oh, you opened comments again – when did that happen? You should have sent out an announcement or something!
Avitable´s last blog post..What I learned this weekend
Thankfully, I have friends I can vent to when my kid is being an asshole, and they know it doesn’t mean I am abusive or whatever, just because I call her a name. I don’t call her an asshole to her face, but damn – when I am venting on the phone about her behavior some days? She’s an asshole.
I too, hate the people who won’t call their kids out or act like they love their kids even when they’re screaming on the floor at Target.
Haha – don’t get me started! GAH!
Sybil Law´s last blog post..20. Really?!
Hey, you’re taking comments again!
It’s a good thing we can’t get arrested for what we sometimes imagine us saying or doing to our kids, is all I’m sayin’.
April´s last blog post..Pink Friday
I LOVE Louis CK!! He is the bomb. His show, though short lived was hysterical.
TRACI´s last blog post..Somethings you should know
Aw snap! This didn’t show up:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnM0OLne_3M
TRACI´s last blog post..Somethings you should know
fucking hilarious. and just what i needed today. my kid was so awesome with his little brother yesterday that i actually cried for how lucky he is. but today? today? my kid was a TOTAL ASSHOLE today! all. day.
but he doesnt have a black eye….yet. thanks for the outlet maria.
yikes. i can so relate to this video tonight. i could kick the little bleep today.
raino´s last blog post..Trapped
you fucking KILL me. and you know what else? there are times that I love my niece so much that I want to choke her until her head pops off just so she will finally be fucking quiet.
flutter´s last blog post..Pet peeves (alternately titled: Hormones, I haz them)
Oh that was funny. Again, I agree with you. I think anyone you love so much is always gonna be on the downside now and then. To not be willing to admit that sometimes you totally don’t like your kids is dishonest, IMHO.
Raging Dad´s last blog post..Playing with pink eye
re: the teen thing. I have said to my damn near 15 year old (*having coronary*) “You just hit my last damn nerve and you need to leave the room before you find yourself in a chalk outline. for real.”
oh. and never mind that I just told him that I might cut him WHILE his father was on the phone and his dad was like “what did she just say?”. you heard me right bitch. you better tell your son to get his mind right….*mumble enablingassmuhfucker mumble*
illegitimateAngel´s last blog post..With this ring, I thee wed my country
Ha! Ya know!!
Ms. Bar B´s last blog post..Little Asian Girl in a Bubble
Ha! I have definitely thought it and said it (that I didn’t like them very much even though I still LOVED them) and they know that’s some serious shit when mom says she doesn’t like you right now. They slink off to their corners to lick their wounds and then come and try and suck up with hugs and shit. Little wankers.
The Mad White Woman´s last blog post..My New Camera Arrived!
That guy is hilarious.
Rachael´s last blog post..The Rest of the Story
You’re seeing him LIVE??? I’m so jealous.
Karen MEG´s last blog post..Answer Period Part Deux
Love that guy. He does a routine on playing “Hide and Go Seek” with the kid that is HILARIOUS. All about how she just stands up against the wall and thinks that’s hiding, then he has to walk around and pretend to look like he can’t see her STANDING RIGHT FUCKING THERE.
Hilarious. Have fun at the show…
bejewell´s last blog post..A Day in the Life of the Creepy Dude in the Next Cubicle
Mine are only 15 months old and I feel guilty because I already feel that way sometimes. Like, how can you not like a fifteen month old? But its true. Thanks for this :)
cindy´s last blog post..How Big Are You?
personally…i love the piss out of my children. but, it doesn’t mask the fact that sometime…ok fine…most of the time…i’d like to smack the shit out of them. just line them up in a row and slap. the shit. out of them. all of them.
SLAP.
melissa´s last blog post..Crooked and Tarnished. A Story Of Imperfection And The Mommies Who Were In Denial