I love you.
No, not you.
Them.
Behind you.
Made you look!
My posting has been sporadic at best. I don’t mind. I don’t have as much to say, but I’m still always in my head, figuring out the best way to transfer my thoughts into words. I think it’s different as well. It’s not so much engaging and inviting of discussion; more so declarations of my brain through my fingertips into my editor and purged onto the screen. Whether that’s good or bad yet, I don’t know. I appreciate the community, I just feel I’ve been too wrapped up in it.
My commenting has been even more lax. I still read as fervently as ever, and I’ve realized that not pressuring myself to comment has enabled me to absorb your words more and remember them longer. There was a subconscious rush to my journey through my Google reader before: me reading but not retaining what you wrote because I was too worried about making sure I had the time and energy and desire to read and comment the next person as well.
I find this a fair trade off. I hope you can accept that less frequent comments from me are not a bad thing, that it means that I’m actually taking you farther in than I probably used to. I’m not concerned with my own numbers – I’m proud to say that neither Woopra nor Statcounter have been opened in months. Yes, monthssss. I don’t care. Numbers don’t matter to me. I hope that if you read me reciprocally that you stop now because the reciprocation is probably going to anyway. My feelings won’t be hurt.
I’m totally uninhibited. Emails sit for not minutes, but sometimes days before I respond and I don’t flip out. My nights are not consumed by Plurk and I barely log onto my social networking sites. I’ve officially broken out of my cage, my prism that was holding me hostage, my internet obsession. I am glad. I enjoy my internet time again, wasting it exploring Flickr and Tumblr and ffffound, and finding new blogs to read because I actually have time to absorb myself in more.
I have not asked any more questions. I have not drafted a blog post in which to showcase the already received answers. The response was overwhelming and my creativity is lacking, there was no way I could think of to properly give you what I promised. So, I’m sorry that I wasted your time. Feel free to take your question and turn into blog fodder of your own.
My recent post about some republicans/conservatives pissed a lot of people off. I don’t think I’ve ever received so many emails on a post. All of them I took time to respond to and most of the correspondence ended on a positive note, without me rescinding one word because I still stand by every single thing I wrote. No, I don’t want people to be angry or hurt, but after I emailed back, my hands were clean whether they were happy or not. Feels good to be confident in my words, no matter the reaction. I hope those people and I are cool, but if not…*shrugs* It’s my blog, and I can throw a ridiculous temper tantrum here if I feel like it. I don’t think I’ve ever given the impression that this was a blog to come to for fluff or cute stories or feel good anecdotes. It’s not, and there are many like that that I can direct you to if that’s what you’d prefer. This is real, it’s me, it’s good, it’s bad, it’s nice, it’s bitchy, it’s over the top, it’s vague, it’s bullshit, it’s mine.
I’m in a good place right now. A place of truth and good times, of nonchalance and self-absorption. Where I belong and feel best. I’m staying here.
Oh and a list of changes to the blog itself:
- I changed my blog theme, obviously, unless you’re feed reading. I like it. It’s clean and simple, but has room for the shit in my sidebar which, save the ads, is still pretty basic.
- I updated my blogroll [ finally! ].
- I took my tagline back to the old standard ‘you don’t have to agree with me‘. It rings truer today than at any other time.
- I moved my comments over to the Disqus system. I really like it, and I suggest you make a profile there so people can find out more about you by hovering over your avatar.
- I disabled the passwords on all the old posts, except for one that was written by a guest who requested it be protected. No more hiding anything.
- I bought a camera [finally], so I added a Flickr widget to my sidebar as well.
That is all.
Hope you’re well.
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