The Barometer of My Ever Increasing Filth

Otherwise known as Woopra. Have a looksie at some of the ways people have come across this blog. And my responses.

‘get me off‘ - That was the old me. Sorry.

‘priceless blowjob‘ – I have really big teeth, that are extremely sharp and get in the way. I’m not very good basically, so you won’t find that here.

‘sexy minded gutters‘ - Um, ok. Here I thought they were just inanimate objects used to help rain water travel, but I should pay closer attention to the things around me.

‘how can I make my husband stop being a braggart‘ – Tell him his dick is little. Worked for me.

‘no one could possibly love me‘ – Yes they could.

‘emotionally unstable men who cry a lot‘ - Need Prozac. Just like emotionally unstable women who cry a lot.

‘immortal matriarch‘ – Remind me to buy that damn domain and have it directed here.

‘would you love me if I didn’t‘ - You’re searching to provide unrequited love? Heartbreaking fucker.

**

Up until just a few months ago I never had any visitors arrive through really crazy searches. I spent many nights pacing the floor wondering what I was doing wrong. Wondering how the most sweet and innocent of blogs could be found via googling things about asses and vaginas and I couldn’t. All my searches were for abortion, circumcision and James Dean’s penis. I decided that in time, they would come. I just needed to be patient. So I continued upon my path of irreverence.

And then it started. The first few were pretty mundane:

‘Immoral sex’, ‘Immoral fucking’, ‘sex with mother’, ‘sex with matriarch’, ‘cheating immoral’, ‘blogher ’08 bullshit’, ‘fuck immoral matriarch’ [if there's a site dedicated to hating me goddamnitt I'll burst with pride], ‘stop looking at my tits’, ‘leaking nipples’ , etc. Boring!

Until about a week ago, when they started getting deliciously evil:

‘mangled tits’

‘ripped her nippes off’

‘extreme tit suction’

[seeing the pattern yet?]

‘suckson cups for nipples’

‘suction cups on tits’

‘tied tits suction’

‘rip those fucking nipples off’

‘nipple cups’

‘tit suction’

I’m hoping this is all from the same person. I can’t allow myself to believe that there is more than one person in the world that finds this attractive. Really. I can’t. Seriously. But I have something they may be interested in. It’s not safe for work. Or for lunch. Seriously. But it should be right up their alley. *evil laugh*

Here it is.

[Don't send me hate mail if you watch it and are forever scarred. YOU watched it.]

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