They will fucking tear you apart.
I’m needy. It’s something that J. hates about me.
I love outside validation because my elf esteem is lacking.
I need to hear ‘you’re pretty’, ‘you’re smart’, ‘you’re funny’, etc.
And in one of my attempts to garner a little ego boost I decided to submit my blog to this review site I ran across.
‘Ask and Ye Shall Receive’. Actually it’s ‘I-will-fucking-tear-you-apart.blogspot.com’. So it’s a pretty risky thing to submit your blog to them. Odds are, they will, you know, fucking tear you apart and all.
But that made it better for me. I mean, if said they liked me, I knew they weren’t bullshiting me - they truly liked me. Especially with me being a stay at home mom.
And they did.
Actually, they fucking love me.
How estatic am I?
I read the review with this huge koolaid smile on my face like ‘Fuck yes!!!’, outloud to my friend who is uberpositive and uppy [and nothing like me] and she made it all the better with her own too big grin and interruptions of ‘that’s so good!‘ and ‘wow!‘.
Believe me, if they hadn’t given me their equivalent of two thumbs up I so would not have said one word about this. And hoped that no one followed their review to my site so that the whole scenario could just fade into bloggy-oblivion.
Anyway, check it out.
And submit your shit to them if you dare.
Beware though - they aren’t too fond of mommy blogs.
Now, I’m going back on hiatus.
Everyone send me money and good thoughts so I can get a new comp soon.
Or not.
P.S. I currently have…400 entries in my reader. I promise to @ least read every single one of them when I get my new computer. And, Huckdoll & Amy - I had your awards saved onto my hard drive which is no more so you’ll have to send them to me in an email maria0305@gmail.com] so I can post them when I return.
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March 21st, 2008 at 7:53 pm
I said the same thing after mine, that if it hadn’t been good news I never would have told my readers about it EVER. What I didn’t say was that I also would have left anonymous comments over on the review site in support of my poor self.
I’m so proud I already fucking loved you before they told me to.
March 21st, 2008 at 8:56 pm
Oooh congratulations and well deserved! There is no way in heck I’m submitting myself though. No fucking way.
I can see it now: “This bitch is overly sentimental, relives the past entirely too much, and really shouldn’t be writing anything at all. She really needs to get over herself.”
Yep, definitely don’t need someone telling me that to my face.
March 21st, 2008 at 9:26 pm
how did I not know that this existed?
I could get all my cruel kicks from just read that all day.
if i didn’t REALLY need my bollocks right now I’d submit myself…
March 21st, 2008 at 9:27 pm
Holy shit, I don’t have the BALLS to submit to the site! I think I’d cry, seriously!
I’m okay on my personal self-esteem, but when it comes to my blog? No way, all bets are off and I’m a HUGE baby, lol.
The review was awesome! You have such a great blog, so you totally deserved it! WOOT! ;)
Come back soon! ;)
March 21st, 2008 at 9:45 pm
Ok, my vitamin C supplements have gone to my head and I submitted.
If I wasn’t already sub-fertile i’m totally buggered now.
March 21st, 2008 at 9:58 pm
Yay! So proud of you, but totally not surprised. You are awesome!
March 21st, 2008 at 10:57 pm
That is so cool. And, of course, well-deserved. But, bitch, no mention of the award I gave you?!?
March 21st, 2008 at 11:17 pm
Maria, you are so much more than a Mommy blogger. I’m not surprised they love ya’. We all do.
March 21st, 2008 at 11:31 pm
Wow! Congrats on the fan-freakin-tastic review! And I’m impressed that you actually have the huevos to submit your blog to be reviewed there. You rock!
March 22nd, 2008 at 12:30 am
Awesome. Glad you got the validation you deserve… but I could have told you you rock. :)
March 22nd, 2008 at 12:37 am
I would never in a million years submit to that, but you. You are awesome and they totally nailed it with you. You are bad ass and you totally deserve the rave review and the new traffic!!!
I hope it pays off and congrats on the fantabulous review darlin’!
Thank you for being such a great blog friend, even when I suck at commenting. I do read you every day, though!!!
March 22nd, 2008 at 1:17 am
Wow. that review was dead on about you.. I remember spending so much time reading the faqs about ya first..
Your blog rocks.. and you are awesome.. congrats!!
March 22nd, 2008 at 1:41 am
Whoa. You’ve got BALLS girl. When you’re back up I’m giving you my “You’re the Balls” Award.
I would NEVER submit my blog for review…
I agree with everything that reviewer said, you have something very special here.
March 22nd, 2008 at 1:57 am
I am not surprised…what’s not to love?
March 22nd, 2008 at 2:20 am
WOW! That’s quite a review, and so true! You are fucking awesome, I love reading your blog!
March 22nd, 2008 at 4:30 am
uh, thanks (i think) for the indirect link. actually, it’s not so bad to be fucking torn apart (once you get over the initial shock, nausea and vomiting). it generates a lot of traffic at least.
you are pretty fucking great. congrats on the great review!
March 22nd, 2008 at 5:07 am
I love you. You are beautiful. You are funny. You are so smart. You are entertaining. You are unique. You are the best blog EVA!
March 22nd, 2008 at 6:47 am
You’re the BOMB girl. You deserve every bit of praise and props you got over there.
Maria is full of awesome sauce, pass it on…
March 22nd, 2008 at 2:09 pm
Maria, Maria you brave, fierce woman you!!!! When I first stumbled onto your blog (awesome fight club post!), even though you are a mom, and that’s what your post was about, shitty mommy politics and all, I didn’t necessarily classify you as a “mommy blogger”.
But then again, what is the definition of the mommy blogger anyway?
You just blew me away with your eloquent, raw words, and I was hooked from the get-go.
You fucking deserve this fucking awesome review. Rawwwwrrrr!
March 22nd, 2008 at 3:15 pm
Congrats on this, Maria. Acceptance on a grand scale by people who know dick about you is cool.
I am no different from you in the “Somebody for the love of GOD please love me and like me and think I’m clever and smart and pithily erudite and not think me remotely fraudulent about any of it”.
I followed your lead and sent them blog. It’s been days since I’ve had my colon ripped out and worn around my neck like a winter muffler…what the hell not?
We shall see.
And will you get your damn computer fixed????????????????/
LK
March 22nd, 2008 at 3:32 pm
You do so rock as a badass momma! Knew this all along… we fucking love you too.
March 22nd, 2008 at 4:42 pm
Congrats on your awesome review! It is completely deserved.
March 22nd, 2008 at 6:10 pm
How exciting is that?! Congratulations, Maria! You rawk!!
March 22nd, 2008 at 6:39 pm
HOLY SMOKES!!! Way to go. That is awesome for you!
March 22nd, 2008 at 10:11 pm
Congratulations!
I don’t think I will follow suit, but I am glad to hear you were well received.
Cause you rock!
March 23rd, 2008 at 1:19 am
I will just parrot what everyone else said and say…
It’s so well deserved.
(Well deserved…is that even, like, a real phrase??)
Anyway. You’re fucking fantastic. You deserve every bit of praise those bitches gave you. Every effing bit.
Me…I’m not so brave. I’m much happier believing that I’m a legend in my own mind. Thankyouverymuch.
March 23rd, 2008 at 1:39 am
yahoo for you :) xoxoxoxo
March 23rd, 2008 at 3:25 am
You’re pretty. You’re hot.
You are fabulous.
March 23rd, 2008 at 5:14 am
how long is the line that i have to stand in to kiss your fuckin ass? ;)
kudos on an extremely well-deserved award/recognition. i stalk - i mean read - your site on a daily basis just to get to my daily fix of entertainment, Maria-style. Get the damned computer fixed please.
<3 xoxo
March 23rd, 2008 at 5:59 am
Of course they fucking love you! Did you do the check back to see if they’d done your blog constantly? Because I totally didn’t. No. Because that would be entirely too needy. Yeah. . . I am so weak!
March 23rd, 2008 at 6:15 am
Wow! How totally brave of you, but of COURSE they love you. Your blog is amazing! I’m too chicken-shit to even think about doing that.
March 23rd, 2008 at 1:30 pm
I would never do it. Never! Never! Never! You are one brave, chick. But, you don’t need me to tell you that. Or, do you?
Well-deserved, chickie.
March 23rd, 2008 at 6:34 pm
Of course they loved you, you’re fabulous!!
March 24th, 2008 at 4:48 am
Congrats!! Congrats! I was totally excited when they loved me too! (I need that kind of recognition sometimes) even though they were not a fan of my old sherberty orange template that I’ve since changed.
Totally well deserved because I love your blog too!!!
March 25th, 2008 at 4:35 am
Well-deserved, babe. Well-deserved.
March 25th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
Duh! Who wouldn’t love you?!
March 25th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
i’m a-feared. if they hate me, i will lose the will to live. because apparently i depend on the good word of strangers. . .
still, i have a pretty nice job, i suppose. okay. two malibus, i’ll do it - after i clean my crap up.
March 25th, 2008 at 8:08 pm
shit. i’m out of malibu.
March 28th, 2008 at 6:09 pm
You kidding? Of course they fucking love you. You are som’n to fucking love!
April 3rd, 2008 at 2:11 am
You know, I knew something was missing . . . YOU! Congrats to you–you are totally loved in a big, bad way . . .
April 14th, 2008 at 4:39 pm
Seeing as it’s all your fucking fault…
clicky clicky here
I love you more now.